'Wait Wait' for August 10, 2024: Summer Break Edition!

This week, Wait Wait celebrates the dog days of summer with some of our favorite guests!

Transcript

JENNIFER MILLS, BYLINE: The following program was taped in front of an audience of real, live people.

CHIOKE I'ANSON: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm the man who makes rich people open their wallets just so they can hear me say their name, Chioke I'Anson. And here's your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Chioke. Thank you, everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: As hard as it is to believe, we have arrived at summer vacation 2024, which means it is time to Bill Kurtis' annual pilgrimage to Ibiza. So we're lucky to have Chioke fill in for him.

I'ANSON: Somebody had to be there to hit you if you pronounced it Ibitha (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So while Bill is partying till dawn, we're going to amuse ourselves with some highlights from our past shows, starting with an extended version of our visit with Jason Isbell. The Grammy-winning singer-songwriter joined us soon after releasing his latest album, which he wrote while on the set of the movie "Killers Of The Flower Moon," in which he starred.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)

JASON ISBELL: Thank you. Thank you very much.

SAGAL: So great to talk to you. I just - first, we need to start with a fact check, which is your band, The 400 Unit, is named after an asylum?

ISBELL: Yes, and it was really just - it was part of a hospital, a general hospital. And the floor where they put all of the mental health treatment patients was called the 400 unit. And me and everybody else that I knew and that I grew up with had family who had spent time in the 400 unit, if they hadn't done so themselves.

PETER GROSZ: Wow.

ISBELL: And so it was kind of - it was a thing in our family when someone would have a come apart, you know, my granddad would say, be careful - we're going to send you to the 400 unit. And eventually, I found myself after naming my band The 400 Unit - I found myself judging their talent show. And really, I mean, it was incredible. There were some extremely talented people in there, as you might imagine.

GROSZ: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: People think you're one of the greatest songwriters alive. Like, John Mayer called you our greatest living lyricist. So my question is, what is his problem with your tunes?

ISBELL: That's what I thought, too. He doesn't like my guitar playing.

(LAUGHTER)

MAEVE HIGGINS: I think he made up for it when he wrote that song about your body being a wonderland.

ISBELL: Yeah. It was originally Wonder Bread, but he changed it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And I heard you say once that when you met Bruce Springsteen, he immediately launched into one of your songs.

ISBELL: He did, yeah. He said that his son had brought my album home, and he had really fallen in love with this song called "Traveling Alone." And then he leaned in, and he started singing it. And I immediately thought, oh, my God, this man is singing my song in Bruce Springsteen voice. But yeah, he was very, very kind, which meant a whole lot to me.

SAGAL: Sure. Well, how do you respond to that? Did you feel like you needed to do a little, you know, "Dancing In The Dark" for him just to even things out?

ISBELL: Yeah. I felt like I needed to do that. I sang "Thunder Road" in its entirety a cappella.

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: I did a knee slide at the end.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: There is - I don't know what you want to call it - a stereotype, a cliche, maybe even a joke about you that you only write very sad songs. But have you ever sat down to just, like, you know, just show the world and write a song like my puppy is so cute or something like that, just to show you got that club in your bag?

ISBELL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: No, I haven't - I've written songs for my daughter. My daughter is 8 years old.

SAGAL: Oh, sure.

ISBELL: And I have made up songs for her that are happy, and she did not like them, so I went...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And so I read this thing about you that you went to college, you were a creative writing major, but you left college one credit shy of getting your degree. And then just recently, years after you left school, you went back, and they gave you your degree. Is that right?

ISBELL: Right. Well, I didn't go back. Like, they - I don't know if I'm supposed to tell this.

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: So what happened was it was a human fitness and wellness course. So it was a book course about, like, how many calories are in a cupcake. And they would take you in and pinch you with the little forceps and tell you if you were overweight or not. And I was not about to do that.

SAGAL: So wait a minute. This was the only course you had to take to graduate college...

ISBELL: Yes.

SAGAL: ...This human health course? And you were like, absolutely not. I'd rather just leave.

ISBELL: Yes. Yes.

SAGAL: Wow.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: Well, he'd been pinched enough. He was like, I got to get out of here.

ISBELL: It was one of the most beautiful moments of my life, because I remember distinctly thinking, I can get out of here and walk out and no one's going to arrest me or anything. You can - like, don't tell your children this, but you can just leave college.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And so more recently, the college approached you and said we are aware that you were one credit shy and you never graduated. So what...

ISBELL: They said that I knew enough now about those things.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's 'cause, knowing a lot of your songs - you know, there's a track that didn't make "Southeastern" that's all about how many calories are in a cupcake, so they obviously...

ISBELL: There is, yes.

SAGAL: Yeah, exactly.

ISBELL: And that one is the saddest of all.

(LAUGHTER)

GROSZ: With tears in their eyes, they were like, you finally get it now - how many calories...

ISBELL: How dare you? You've broken...

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: And they gave me my degree. But I don't know if the degree that they gave me is a degree that existed before that moment or not. It looks like something they made up. Like, it's got the word studies in it more than once. So I don't know...

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: ...What I can use it for, but I'm very proud of it.

SAGAL: Sure. You are married to another wonderfully talented singer, musician and songwriter Amanda Shires. And you were actually on NPR's Tiny Desk Concert, and you were with her, right? And there's this moment during the concert that you do, where your beautiful, talented wife looks at you and leans close and says, do I have any boogers?

ISBELL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And you lean in and you check and you say, no.

ISBELL: Right.

SAGAL: And I just want to say, is that like what your relationship is normally like?

ISBELL: I think so, yeah. I think that's true love.

HIGGINS: Yeah. Mm-hmm.

ISBELL: If you feel comfortable enough to ask and they feel comfortable enough to answer, then, you know, you're being a good friend to that person in that moment.

SAGAL: Yeah.

ISBELL: And, you know, the only other option was just go with the boogers and play the show with the boogers.

SAGAL: Yeah.

ISBELL: Nobody wants that to happen.

SAGAL: Yeah.

ISBELL: The problem is when I see boogers and she doesn't. Then we have a problem.

SAGAL: And when that happens and you're like, you have boogers, and she's like, no, I don't, do you say, well, I'm a college graduate?

ISBELL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: I have my degree in studies and other studies.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Jason Isbell, it is so much fun to talk to you. We have invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling...

BILL KURTIS: Big Ben - is clock? No, Isbell.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So we have decided to ask you, Jason Isbell, three questions about Big Ben, which many people don't realize is not the clock. It's the bell in the clock. Answer 2 out of 3 questions correctly - you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might like from our show going bong, bong on their voicemail. Bill, who is Jason Isbell playing for?

KURTIS: Jared Maynard (ph) of Dearborn, Mich.

SAGAL: All right. Here's your first question about Big Ben. The man who designed Big Ben, both the clock and the bell, was Baron Grimthorpe, who was a lawyer and self-proclaimed expert on clocks. In fact, his fame about his expertise on clocks was such that he was repeatedly elected president of Britain's Horological Institute. Great guy to have in charge. But there was a problem. What was it? A, he was never, weirdly, on time to the meetings...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...B, he was so obnoxious as a person, a condition of him becoming president was that he never attend any of its dinners; or C, he demanded that the clock in the institute's clock tower be digital.

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: I mean, since you called him a self-described expert, I would say that he's not somebody you would want to sit down at dinner with.

SAGAL: You're exactly right. That's...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

ISBELL: I would go with B, yeah.

SAGAL: That's right.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In fact, he was originally charged with picking someone to design the clock. And he said, you know who's best at designing clocks? Me.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right. You got that one right. You were very sharp on that. Grimthorpe, as I said, gave himself the job of designing the clock and the bell, which immediately cracked the first time they hit it with something. And he dealt with that disaster by doing what? A, he took responsibility, apologized and handed off the job to someone else to do correctly; B, he claimed that he meant it to crack because it would sound better that way; or C, he made friends with a guy who worked at the foundry that made the bell, got him drunk, and convinced him while drunk to say that it was all their fault.

ISBELL: Ooh, C is tempting, but it's hard for me to imagine this man making friends with anybody.

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: I'm going to go with B again.

SAGAL: No, it was actually C.

ISBELL: Dammit.

SAGAL: He did get the guy drunk, convinced him to say it was the foundry's fault. That not being true, the foundry sued him for libel and won. And then he got angry and said it again, and they sued him again. And they won again.

(LAUGHTER)

HIGGINS: Ding dong.

SAGAL: So last question. If you get this right, you win. In addition to the bell of Big Ben and the clock - and the bell, by the way, is still cracked - the baron is memorialized forever by what? A, the phrase to Grimthorpe, which means to ruin a building while attempting to restore it...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...B, an act of Parliament requiring all clockmakers to this day to prove that their products were not designed by Baron Grimthorpe...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Or C, being the only person to be buried in a small nave of Westminster Abbey known as the Jacka**es Corner.

(LAUGHTER)

ISBELL: I think it's A. I think it is A.

SAGAL: You're right. It is A.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

GROSZ: Wow.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Jason Isbell do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, we know he did not Grimthorpe this. He - 2 out of 3. You're a winner, Jason.

SAGAL: Again.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Jason Isbell is a celebrated singer-songwriter whose new album, "Weathervanes," is up for three Grammys. Jason Isbell, thank you so much for joining us on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME. What an absolute thrill to talk to you. Take care.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "KING OF OKLAHOMA")

ISBELL: (Singing) We'll take the copper from the worksite. Meet me there at midnight.

SAGAL: When we come back, we talk to two authors - one who is the most prolific author in the world, James Patterson, and one who would be if she didn't have to also host a TV show, Rachel Maddow. That's when we come back with more WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

I'ANSON: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Chioke I'Anson, and here is your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

SAGAL: Thank you, Chioke.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Thank you, all.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Come on, people. Make it believable.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Thank you, Chioke. So this week, Chioke is filling in for Bill, who got an early start on his summer vacation, and we're also revisiting some of our favorite moments from the past year, while the rest of us are trying to find him.

I'ANSON: (Singing) Where in the world is William Horton Kurtis?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: For many years, we had wanted to interview MSNBC host Rachel Maddow, but it was impossible because she was too busy. Finally, she reduced her broadcast schedule to just one hour a week.

I'ANSON: That's hardly working at all.

SAGAL: You'd be surprised, Chioke, how taxing it is.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Anyway, Rachel has more time now to write books, and at the start of the year, we interviewed her at Carnegie Hall about her latest, a book called "Prelude" (ph), as well as about how she stumbled into her remarkable career.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)

SAGAL: Everybody - we heard that back in college at Stanford, everybody thought you'd be a professor 'cause you were - to use a term that I think is approbation in these circles - an egghead.

RACHEL MADDOW: A little bit of a dork.

SAGAL: A little bit...

MADDOW: Yes.

SAGAL: ...Of a dork.

MADDOW: Yes.

SAGAL: So how did you stumble into broadcasting?

MADDOW: I was finishing my dissertation, living with friends, totally broke, and I got a job as the news girl on a morning zoo radio show.

SAGAL: You are kidding me.

MADDOW: No. It was a live, on-the-air audition, and I got hired on the spot and started the next day.

SAGAL: And how did you fit in in the whole morning zoo crew-type ethos?

MADDOW: Well, one of the things that happened on our morning zoo show - it was called the "Dave In The Morning Show"...

SAGAL: Sure.

MADDOW: ...And we used to write jingles for local businesses.

SAGAL: Oh, wow.

MADDOW: Yeah. I got...

SAGAL: I think I speak for your international fandom to ask, can you still do a jingle?

(CHEERING)

MADDOW: I remember bits of them. For example, it's not just for Cinco de Mayo. So put on a suit and a tie-o (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

MADDOW: I don't remember how that one started. There was something about don't - you can't borrow my chainsaw. You - (singing) somewhere on Route 9. Get yourself a chainsaw 'cause you sure ain't using mine.

(LAUGHTER)

MADDOW: (Singing) Green Mountain Power out in Florence, Mass. We give you the power to cut your freaking grass.

(LAUGHTER)

MADDOW: I do remember some.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Do you remember what it was like to transition from radio to TV? - something I've never dared to do.

(LAUGHTER)

MADDOW: I have never really admitted to myself that anybody can see me...

SAGAL: Right.

MADDOW: ...When I'm on television.

(LAUGHTER)

MADDOW: In my mind, it's just...

SAGAL: Well...

MADDOW: ...Me and a microphone.

SAGAL: ...If you think about it, you can't see them.

MADDOW: Ding.

SAGAL: So it wouldn't be fair if they could see you.

MADDOW: Ding.

SAGAL: Right.

MADDOW: Exactly. I wear the same clothes every day.

SAGAL: Right.

MADDOW: I - there's nobody else in the room except for a nice lady named Jackie (ph) who stands next to the camera.

SAGAL: Yeah.

MADDOW: And I don't pay very much attention to what the visuals are on the screen, and I just think about the script.

SAGAL: Right. Does it ever get intense? - 'cause I know people look to you not just for information and analysis but for kind of hope. Do people, like, come up to you and, like, laden you with that? - 'cause that'd be a lot.

MADDOW: It's - I don't feel beleaguered by it or anything. I have nothing to complain about at all. I do sometimes worry when people say that I am the thing that gives them hope.

SAGAL: Right.

MADDOW: I just think, wow, that is a gossamer thread...

SAGAL: Yeah.

MADDOW: ...Because I'm just a person who talks about the news on television. Like, you should have other resources.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I understand you've become quite the fisherperson.

MADDOW: Yes. I'm - I do it a lot but am bad at it.

SAGAL: Really?

MADDOW: Yes.

SAGAL: What kind of fishing?

MADDOW: All the fishing.

SAGAL: All the fishing.

MADDOW: Fly fishing, spin fishing, ice fishing. I love ice...

SAGAL: Ice fishing?

MADDOW: Ice fishing is my favorite kind of fishing.

SAGAL: So you're telling me that if I'm out there, like, in the mountains of the Berkshires and it's - there's a frozen lake, I can look out there, and there's a huddled person sitting there in a - next to a hole in the ice, it could be you?

MADDOW: Yes.

SAGAL: Wow.

MADDOW: Yes, staring into a hole...

SAGAL: Yeah.

MADDOW: ...Happier than I am at any other time of the year.

SAGAL: Really?

MADDOW: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I could do this all day, but we do have business to do. You have a new book out called "Prequel," which is about the pro-fascist movement in America. But since you have written a book called "Prequel" - yes - we have...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...We have asked you to play a game we're calling...

KURTIS: The Worst Prequel of Them All.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Meaning, what do you know about "The Phantom Menace: Star Wars - Episode I"?

(CHEERING)

MADDOW: Oh, no.

NEGIN FARSAD: (Laughter).

SAGAL: Right.

MADDOW: Oh, no.

SAGAL: So your job is to answer 2 out of 3 questions correctly about "The Phantom Menace."

MADDOW: Oh, no.

SAGAL: You don't - do you...

MADDOW: No, I saw the first "Star Wars" movie when I was 4...

SAGAL: Yeah.

MADDOW: ...And that's the only "Star Wars" movie I have ever seen.

SAGAL: Right.

MADDOW: And the only time I've ever seen that one.

SAGAL: Do you know what they're about? They're about, like, war...

MADDOW: Yeah.

KAREN CHEE: And stars.

SAGAL: ...And there are stars.

MADDOW: Stars, yeah.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

MADDOW: I can do this.

SAGAL: OK. Bill, who is Rachel Maddow playing for?

KURTIS: Lee Woodyear (ph) of New York City, who is celebrating his 60th birthday with us here at Carnegie Hall.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Here's your first question. Now, we all know - you may remember this. Remember the lightsaber fights in "Star Wars"? The swords - you don't remember this. Well, you have to have lightsaber fights. And they had them in "The Phantom Menace," but they were hard to get right when they were filming. Why? A, all the lightsabers had been thrown out when Lucasfilm moved their offices in 1994; B, actor Ewan McGregor, who played Obi-Wan, kept making lightsaber noises with his mouth, which were really hard...

FARSAD: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...To remove in post-production; or C, George Lucas insisted that the actors fight with real lightsabers?

MADDOW: I'm going to go with...

CHEE: Oh.

MADDOW: ...B.

SAGAL: B is the answer. Ewan McGregor.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

MADDOW: Wow.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: You would know this if you were that kind of nerd rather than the brainiac...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...But it is literally impossible to pick up, like, anything - even a flashlight - and not go (imitating lightsaber).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Ewan McGregor could not stop himself from doing that, and they had to erase it.

MADDOW: Wow.

SAGAL: OK. The movie sets were built only to be as high as the actors' heads - right? - because the rest of the, you know, expanse of whatever room they were in would be created digitally later, right? But there was an unexpected problem with that supposedly money-saving technique. What was it? A, Liam Neeson, who was in the film, was so tall that he cost the set crew an extra $150,000 in construction costs; B, George Lucas said the doors will be CGI, too, so the construction crew did not put any openings in the wall for the actors to walk through; or C, whenever an actor ran on the set, his head would bounce too high and disappear?

MADDOW: We think it's Liam Neeson.

SAGAL: You're right. That's true.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This is great.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I love this. I love that you're answering this as a collective.

MADDOW: Yes.

SAGAL: It's so appropriate for you MSNBC people.

(LAUGHTER)

MADDOW: This is the most liberal, collective thing I've ever done.

SAGAL: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: All right, last question - the parts of the movie that were not shot on digital sets were made in the deserts of Tunisia, where it got so hot that what happened on set? A, the actors playing Jedi knights demanded and got air conditioners put under their robes; B, Natalie Portman and the other actors actually fried an egg on top of R2-D2; or C, they needed four standby actors ready to get into the metal C-3PO costume because they kept passing out?

MADDOW: Oh, wow.

SAGAL: Oh, wait a minute, wait a minute. Trust your feelings, Rachel Maddow.

(LAUGHTER)

MADDOW: All right, I'm going to go with air conditioners.

SAGAL: No, it was actually they fried an egg.

MADDOW: Oh, you're kidding.

SAGAL: Yes, they did. An actor named Ahmed Best, who was in the movie, said that they did that. And as far as we know, he had nothing else to do with the film. Bill, how did Rachel Maddow do on our quiz?

KURTIS: How could we make Rachel anything more than a champion?

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Rachel Maddow is the host of "The Rachel Maddow Show" on MSNBC, and her new book, "Prequel," debuted at No. 1 at The New York Times bestseller list. Rachel Maddow, thank you so much for joining us on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!

(SOUNDBITE OF LONDON SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA'S "STAR WARS (THEME)")

SAGAL: In October of last year, we went to Hartford, Conn., where we interviewed bestselling author James Patterson. How bestselling is he, you ask? Well, he doesn't even live in Hartford. He just flew in on his private jet.

I'ANSON: Peter asked him about his remarkable stature in the world of letters.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)

SAGAL: We were looking into this, and everything I said is true. You are, in fact, the bestselling author in the world. One piece of data we came across is like...

JAMES PATTERSON: That's kind of a tragedy, but we'll go with it.

SAGAL: OK. Seven percent of all books sold in a year are your books, which is something to be proud of. I assume you're proud of it, yes?

PATTERSON: I - you know, just very quickly, there's - and I don't know who said this. It wasn't me. But I love it. And I think it's as true for 20-year-olds as it is for somebody my age, 30-something.

(LAUGHTER)

PATTERSON: And what it is - my time here is short...

SAGAL: Yeah.

PATTERSON: ...What can I do most beautifully?

SAGAL: Right.

PATTERSON: And for me, it's telling stories.

SAGAL: Right.

PATTERSON: And that's what it's all about. I don't care about anything other than that.

SAGAL: OK.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: This is a hard question to ask any artist, especially a very popular one, but I'll try. Can you explain your success? Do you know why you are on the top of that list?

PATTERSON: I don't think about it that way, but it's just story, story, story, story. I mean, you know, the real estate thing - location - it's just story, story, story.

SAGAL: Right. And you were not, at first, a novelist. You were in the advertising business.

PATTERSON: Yeah, but I've been clean for over 25 years.

SAGAL: Oh, I'm glad. I'm glad.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Congratulations.

PATTERSON: Thank you.

SAGAL: Yeah. But you - and were you all - did you always want to be a writer? You were one of those guys who...

PATTERSON: Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, totally.

SAGAL: And did you have to go through like a - you know, an apprenticeship? Like, did you write a lot of novels that you had to throw away before you...

PATTERSON: No. I was really lucky in that the first one I wrote - I was 25, 26 years old. It won an Edgar as best first mystery. And that's the best thing I've written. I haven't written anything even close to that since.

SAGAL: Really?

PATTERSON: So I was really good. I had a lot of promise when I was 26. Yeah.

SAGAL: Now look. You've written, like I said, in every genre. I tried to find one - the only things you haven't done are epic, poetry and erotica.

PATTERSON: I did epic. Erotica, at a certain age, you - that's - just comes off the scorecard. It's just not going to - I'm not going to erotica.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right. Really. It's...

PATTERSON: Yeah.

SAGAL: ...All of a sudden, you sit down to write it, and instead of, like, doing anything...

PATTERSON: It's just not feeling...

SAGAL: ...They just watch some TV and go to bed, and you're like, that's exciting. Yeah.

PATTERSON: Yeah. Yeah.

SAGAL: OK.

SAGAL: You're an immensely popular author. Do you get recognized in public?

PATTERSON: Oh, you know, it's a mixed bag. I was in a restaurant in Florida - tiny restaurant, (inaudible). They took us to the seat. And I'm walking down the aisle with my wife, and this lady pops up, and she says, I know you. You sold us our life insurance.

(LAUGHTER)

PATTERSON: So I do get recognized.

SAGAL: So, like a half credit, a half credit.

PATTERSON: I - You know, I went with it. But the weird thing is - so then we sat down, and during the appetizers, somebody in the back said, are you from Massachusetts? I turned around. He said, you're Tom Clancy. This is true.

(LAUGHTER)

PATTERSON: This is within 10 minutes.

SAGAL: Yeah.

PATTERSON: So, like, you know, whatever. Yeah. So yeah, I do get recognized.

SAGAL: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

PATTERSON: What? You want funny stories.

SAGAL: I do. I do.

PATTERSON: All right.

SAGAL: Would it be amusing to ask you about your feud with Stephen King?

PATTERSON: I - you know, we don't have a feud. He has a feud. I like his books, although the new one is so weird. They put this cover, "Holly," with a nice little house.

SAGAL: Yeah.

PATTERSON: It looks so cute. It's about these two old people who are cannibals...

SAGAL: Right.

PATTERSON: ...You know? That's - and I'm - I swear, it's - you think that's a comedy. It's just weird. He is a very, very good writer, and I'll leave it at that. That's where I come out on Stephen King.

SAGAL: Wow. Yeah, well...

ALZO SLADE: I didn't know authors had beef like that.

SAGAL: They do, man.

SLADE: Like rappers.

SAGAL: Yeah.

PATTERSON: Well, no no, no. Oh, a lot of - John Irving. There are a lot of - a lot of that - I'm not into it.

SAGAL: Really? There are a lot of literary - did you used to have literary beefs when you were young?

PATTERSON: Here's - I'm a kid in New York...

SLADE: Literary beefs...

(CROSSTALK)

PATTERSON: ...And this - and I go into this - there was a party, and in this back room, I swear to God, there's James Baldwin and Norman Mailer. And they're arguing, but they have their fists clenched.

SAGAL: Right.

PATTERSON: And they're both little. They're, like, about 5'4" or something like that.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: James Baldwin and Norman Mailer going to go at it.

PATTERSON: Well, they were going at it verbally, but they had their - it was like this kind of - you know, it was weird.

SAGAL: Yeah.

PATTERSON: That's how writers - we don't really fight, but we'll - you know, we'll fake it.

SAGAL: We'll threaten it. We'll threaten it.

PATTERSON: Norman - I guess Norman Mailer liked to box.

SAGAL: Yeah.

PATTERSON: I would box him. I wouldn't be afraid of it.

SLADE: You think you could beat him?

PATTERSON: Yeah. Hell, yes.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's how you become the world's bestselling author.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well, James Patterson, we have asked you here to play a game we're calling...

KURTIS: I've Got An Hour Till My Flight And Money In My Pocket.

SAGAL: So your books do very well in airport bookshops, when people need something gripping to get them through a flight. But we were wondering, what other fun things can you buy in an airport? Answer 2 out of 3 questions about other airport purchases correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners, the voice of anyone they might choose in their voicemail. Bill, who is James Patterson playing for?

KURTIS: Katherine Nihan-Chaney (ph) from New Britain, Conn.

SAGAL: All right.

PATTERSON: All right.

(CHEERING)

PATTERSON: Katherine, if I mess this up, I'm going to get you a dozen Dunkin' Donuts donuts or some Graeter's ice cream. So no matter what, you're going to be a winner.

SAGAL: All right.

PATTERSON: All right.

SAGAL: All right.

PATTERSON: I don't want to mess it up.

SAGAL: The first thing you can buy in an airport - Auntie Anne's pretzels, OK? The original logo of Auntie Anne's pretzels was the name of the store in an Old English font with the image of a pretzel. Where did that pretzel image come from? A, they took the Mr. Salty Pretzel logo, flipped it and made it blue; B, they took one of their actual pretzels and just Xeroxed it; or C, they drew an outline of a pretzel and asked a focus group where the pieces of salt should go?

PATTERSON: OK. I'm going to - because I think this is going to go A, B, C. So I'm going to go A.

SAGAL: No. It was actually B. They Just Xeroxed a pretzel. All right. You have two more chances. So I think you'll do fine here.

PATTERSON: I don't...

SAGAL: Sometimes...

PATTERSON: ...Think so.

SAGAL: ...Spending money at the airport has an added bonus, like at the Changi Airport in Singapore...

PATTERSON: Oh, boy. I've been there.

SAGAL: ...Where, for every $10 you spend in the airport shops, you also get what? A, one free ride on the airport's four-story slide; B, a pack of chewing gum seized from a Singapore resident...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Or C, an entry in a raffle to ride in the cockpit on your next flight?

PATTERSON: Oh, perfect. OK. Who knows the answer to this? One person, one person. You - we going A again?

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: A.

PATTERSON: A? We're going A.

SAGAL: A is correct, everybody.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Congratulations. It is...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: It is the world's highest slide in an airport.

PATTERSON: OK. All right. Good to know.

(LAUGHTER)

PATTERSON: I could do a scene...

SAGAL: It'll be fun.

PATTERSON: ...There and kill somebody.

SAGAL: I'd - yeah. There you go. Yeah. All right. Last question. If you get this, you win.

PATTERSON: All right.

SAGAL: We all know about buying overpriced water and snacks and, of course, books. But which of these can you get in an airport somewhere in the world if the mood happens to strike you while you're at the airport? A, a root canal, B, a $1,200 ham that comes in its own suitcase, or C, a wedding.

UNIDENTIFIED AUDIENCE: C.

PATTERSON: C.

SAGAL: Actually, all of them.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FAITH SALIE: Wow.

PATTERSON: Oh, so I was going to win no matter what.

SAGAL: You were going to win no matter what.

PATTERSON: That's perfect.

MATT ROGERS: A grand finale. It's about stories.

PATTERSON: That's very nice.

SAGAL: The dentist is...

PATTERSON: I thought the dentist thing - that was my guess. Yeah.

SAGAL: There is a dentist who works inside the Munich Airport.

PATTERSON: OK.

SAGAL: The $1,200 ham is the Miami International Airport. And I forget where you can have the wedding. So just ask in the next airport.

PATTERSON: OK. Well, thank you. And that's good for that person, whoever that person is.

SAGAL: Yes, it is. All right. Bill, how did James Patterson do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Two out of three - he's won.

SAGAL: You win.

PATTERSON: Somebody won.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: James Patterson's latest book is "12 Months To Live," written with Mike Lupica. James Patterson, thank you so much for joining us on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.

PATTERSON: Thank you.

SAGAL: James Patterson.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SATURDAY NIGHT'S ALRIGHT (FOR FIGHTING)")

ELTON JOHN: (Singing) Don't give us none of your aggravation. We had it with your discipline. Oh, Saturday night's all right for fighting.

SAGAL: When we come back, two musicians iconic in their own ways - one a queen of the Broadway stage and the other a queen of the Stone Age. That's when we return with more WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

I'ANSON: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT… DON’T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I’m Chioke I'Anson. And here’s your host at the Studebaker Theater in downtown Chicago, Ill., Peter Sagal.

SAGAL: Thank you, Chioke. Thank you, everybody.

(CHEERING)

SAGAL: Thank you, everybody. So as we take our summer break, we thought we'd give you a break from the heat with some of the coolest guests we ever had. Now, Patti LuPone is the epitome of the Broadway diva. Her career began on the Great White Way 50 years ago, when she created the title role in “Evita.” But when we spoke to her in 2023, she said she was actually done with Broadway.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)

PATTI LUPONE: That is true. I mean, I'm not done with the stage, but I'm done with sort of - I don't know what Broadway is anymore. I want - what I want to do is I want to make my downtown debut. I want to work on East 4th Street.

SAGAL: So you want to, like, do the whole theater career in reverse. You want to go...

LUPONE: Yes.

SAGAL: ...From being the biggest Broadway star there is to playing, like, in a cellar,

LUPONE: Yes.

SAGAL: ...Probably naked, smeared with some food, for no money at all.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: That's what...

LUPONE: Yes, exactly. No. I want a Broadway salary downtown.

SAGAL: Good luck. Good luck.

ADAM FELBER: Yeah, that'll happen. Hey...

(APPLAUSE)

FELBER: Patti, Adam Felber here. I have a question. Maybe you can help me. I've got a 15-year-old son whose sole ambition is to move to New York and be on Broadway. So as a Broadway legend, do you recommend that I send him to military school or break his leg?

(LAUGHTER)

LUPONE: Oh, don't send him to military school.

FELBER: (Laughter) I won't.

LUPONE: He's going to be in military school on Broadway. Seriously, you know, it's - people - I don't understand why people want to be on Broadway. It is extremely hard. You have to be an athlete and a monk. You know, there's such joy in it. There's ecstasy in it. And there's also incredible pain and depression in it. You can be in a hit, or you can give your life to a flop. And you just have to roll with the punches. And sometimes, that's really, really hard.

FELBER: So break his legs.

SAGAL: Break his legs.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I was about to ask you if we can have you say that all again but with some stirring background music because that was pretty cool.

FELBER: That's beautiful.

SAGAL: And another thing that happens, as I need not tell you, is, sometimes, you're doing all that work and somebody pulls out their cellphone.

LUPONE: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And I just want to speak - I want to speak for everybody on every stage in front of an audience everywhere to thank you for what you did, famously, when - I understand the story - you were doing a play at Lincoln Center, and some guy was, like - I think it was - of course, I'm thinking it's a guy; only guys would be this rude - texting through the entire show. And you just reached out and grabbed his cellphone.

LUPONE: Well, it was a woman.

SAGAL: Oh, excuse me.

LUPONE: It was at the Mitzi Newhouse, which is a smaller theater than the Vivian Beaumont. It was an off-Broadway house. So it's a smaller house. And she was in full light. And her husband, or her boyfriend, was watching the play, and she was texting for the entire first act. And everybody could see her texting. And at the intermission - there's only five of us in the play - we come offstage. I'm like, why did you see that woman texting? Yeah. Yeah. She's not going to be back. Yeah. She was bored out of her mind. She - we start the second act, and she's still texting. It's the second act. She hasn't put the phone down. I don't know if she's on eBay. I don't know what the hell she's doing.

(LAUGHTER)

LUPONE: But she's - so Dale's talking, and I'm thinking, how am I going to get that phone?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: If you've ever wondered what actors are doing when the other actor is speaking, now you know.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You're thinking to yourself, how...

LUPONE: Well, and I...

SAGAL: All right. Go ahead.

LUPONE: Well, I make an exit on that side of the stage. And my line is, and remember, community theater has the word community in it. And I would go, and I would shake the hands of the people in the first row on that side of the stage, on the side of the stage where she was texting. But I didn't shake their hands that night. I just went up to her, placed my right hand on her shoulder and palmed the phone out of her lap. And I couldn't believe I got it. And I felt like saying, I got the phone.

(LAUGHTER)

LUPONE: And audience on the other side of...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Whoa.

LUPONE: The audience on the other side of the stage gasped and applauded. And then backstage, when - the stage manager was up, you know, in the gods someplace. He said, thank God you got the phone. I gave it to the assistant stage manager. They gave it to the house manager. I should've held on to it and said...

SAGAL: Yes.

LUPONE: ...If she if she wants the phone back, she's got to come and answer some questions that I'm going to ask.

SAGAL: Or just - or you just could've, like - you just could've answered every text by saying, I'm sorry I didn't respond. I was seeing the most amazing play.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, Patti LuPone, I could talk to you all day, but mainly we have you here to play our game, and this time we're calling it...

KURTIS: LuPone Meet Lupine.

SAGAL: That's right. Lupine meaning, as I'm sure you know, pertaining to wolves. We're going to ask you three questions about our lupine friends, and if you answer two of them correctly, you'll win our prize for one of our listeners - any voice they might choose for their voicemail. Bill, who is Patti LuPone playing for?

KURTIS: Chim (ph) Church of Orlando, Fla.

SAGAL: All right. You ready to do this?

LUPONE: I am.

SAGAL: All right. Here is your first question. In 2011, a 13-year-old boy in Norway encountered a pack of wolves while walking home from school, and he survived that dangerous encounter by thinking quickly and doing what? A, taking off his headphones and blasting the heavy metal band Creed at full volume to scare the wolves away; B, he offered them generous social welfare benefits in return for not eating him; or C, he lulled them to sleep by performing a one-man version of Henrik Ibsen's "Enemy Of The People."

(LAUGHTER)

LUPONE: (Laughter) It's got to be Creed.

SAGAL: That's right. Yes, absolutely.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Two more questions. A man committed an armed robbery of an Illinois bank a while ago while wearing a big wolf mask. No one was hurt in the incident, but there was collateral damage of a kind. What happened? A, a local German shepherd was wrongfully arrested for the crime; B, the local news anchors reporting the story couldn't stop laughing at the mask and could not continue the newscast; or C, two days later, someone at the bank called the police when a guy with a big beard walked in.

(LAUGHTER)

LUPONE: I'm going to go with the newscasters laughing.

SAGAL: You're exactly right, Patti. That's what happened, to be fair...

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: ...It is a pretty funny-looking mask. All right. Last question. To no one's surprise, there is a lot of werewolf erotica out there. So which of the following is a real title from the goodreads.com list of best werewolf erotica?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Here are the choices. Which of these are on goodreads.com's list of best werewolf erotica? A, "How To Flirt With A Naked Werewolf," B, "His Purrfect Mate," or C, "Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone."

(LAUGHTER)

LUPONE: I'm going to go with the first one.

SAGAL: You're right - but all of them were.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

FELBER: What?

LUPONE: Ah, you're kidding (laughter).

SAGAL: All of them are on the list.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A lot of mysteries here. First of all, werewolves don't purr.

FELBER: They don't purr.

SAGAL: They don't purr.

FELBER: They don't purr.

SAGAL: They don't purr. Second - and "Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone" has no werewolves in it.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Patti LuPone do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Patti, you are perfect in this game. Three right - you are a champion.

JOYELLE NICOLE JOHNSON: Perfect Patti.

SAGAL: Patti LuPone is a legend, as you all now know, of both stage and screen. Patti LuPone, thank you so much for joining us on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!

LUPONE: Thank you for having me

SAGAL: What a joy to talk to you. Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA")

LUPONE: (Singing) Don't cry for me, Argentina. The truth is I never left you.

SAGAL: Finally, we're digging deeper into our archives to bring you one of the coolest musicians we have ever convinced to talk to us squares.

I'ANSON: Josh Homme founded and fronted the bands Kyuss, Eagles of Death Metal, Queens of the Stone Age, along with many other musical projects. When he joined WAIT WAIT in 2017, Peter asked him if it was true that, as a child, his first love was polka music.

(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED NPR BROADCAST)

JOSH HOMME: Well, I mean, I think much of the rock 'n' roll that you love started with polka. And I - so, yes, I...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You started your first band when you were 12.

HOMME: I was an early bloomer.

SAGAL: Yeah. And what was that band like?

HOMME: Well, it wasn't that good, honestly.

(LAUGHTER)

HOMME: It just - from the town that I'm from, there wasn't much to do in Palm Desert, Calif. And so to play around with your friends and extend that into music and - was just something natural.

SAGAL: So your first big band that got attention was Kyuss. Is - am I saying that right?

HOMME: Kyuss.

SAGAL: Kyuss.

HOMME: But that's OK.

SAGAL: That's OK.

HOMME: Yeah.

SAGAL: And this, I heard, came from a Dungeons and Dragons thing.

HOMME: Well, as I said, in the desert, there's not a lot to do.

SAGAL: Yeah. You've mentioned that.

(LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Palm Desert, Calif., is like the - your band should have been named, like, The Melted Instruments.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: It's unbelievably hot there. It - I can't even believe...

HOMME: I was actually...

POUNDSTONE: I've never seen children there.

(LAUGHTER)

HOMME: Yes, well, all the children are melted down and turned into old people there.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It happens really quickly.

POUNDSTONE: That's very believable.

SAGAL: I heard that your entire band got the same tattoo, a particular date.

HOMME: Well, yeah. Unfortunately, that's true.

SAGAL: All right. Well, what happened, and why did you do this?

HOMME: We played a show in Germany where everything went wrong, from the intro music not going off when we started to singing into a mic that's only plugged in on one end.

(LAUGHTER)

HOMME: And it just sort of continued on and on and on. And it was at - the date was Freitag 4:15, which means Friday at 4:15 in the day. But also, coincidentally, in German, Freitag means black day.

SAGAL: Right. And fortunately for you, Germans are so forgiving and easygoing. So I'm sure...

(LAUGHTER)

HOMME: Well, it was only in front of 45,000 people, so...

SAGAL: Forty-five thousand people. So you decided to take this disaster and tattoo it onto your bodies.

HOMME: Yeah. But it's - it was - I only got it on my forehead. So it was no big deal.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Really, I mean...

HOMME: I mean, I believe - I play music and dance around and drink tequila for a living. And I think that never forgetting your worst show in order to make that the floor of what you do and to try to reach for more is - that's the minimum obligation of the job.

HARI KONDABOLU: Josh, at what point did you know that was going to be the floor?

AMY DICKINSON: Right.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: 'Cause that's confident.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

HOMME: Well, I just assumed, you know? And - but I still have time left to break the floor open.

SAGAL: I was about to say.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah. Do you still have space on your body for another tattoo?

HOMME: I've got tons of - I'm six-five, so I've got a lot of space.

POUNDSTONE: All right.

DICKINSON: Can I just say, though...

HOMME: Well...

DICKINSON: I just want to weigh in as, like, an advice columnist. Like, that is the most well-adjusted response to failure I have ever heard in my life.

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: I think that is awesome.

(APPLAUSE)

POUNDSTONE: Tattooing it on your body.

DICKINSON: Yeah. It's sort of...

SAGAL: Really, it's...

DICKINSON: Yeah, no, 'cause - I mean, I see it as, like, you're claiming it. Like, oh, yeah, we did that. That happened. Yeah.

SAGAL: We were there.

DICKINSON: I think that's great.

HOMME: Well, perhaps in this day and age, people don't take as much responsibility as they should.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: I don't know if I've ever spoken to a musician, certainly, who had so many different bands at once because - and these bands have, like, different people in them, right? So you have one band with one group of guys and another band with another group of guys.

HOMME: Yeah.

SAGAL: How do you keep them all happy?

HOMME: Guys and girls.

SAGAL: Yeah.

HOMME: Yeah.

SAGAL: Excuse me.

HOMME: Yeah.

SAGAL: Of course, guys and girls. How do you keep them all happy? Do they ever get jealous?

HOMME: I do a lot of scheduling.

SAGAL: Oh, really?

POUNDSTONE: Does one know about the other?

(LAUGHTER)

HOMME: Well, they do now that you said...

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Is it like they're listening at home and says, wait a minute; he has another band?

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Do you ever play a song from one band accidentally with another band and that's how they find out?

HOMME: Well, I mean, that's the nexus of drinking tequila.

SAGAL: Yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Well, Joshua Homme, we are delighted to talk to you. We've invited you here to play a game that this time we're calling...

KURTIS: They're The Modern Stone Age Family.

SAGAL: Since you founded The band Queens of the Stone Age, we thought it only right and proper to ask you about the kings of the Stone Age, namely "The Flintstones." Answer two out of three questions about the great classic animated show. You'll win our prize for one of our listeners, Carl's voice on their answering machine. Bill, who is Joshua Homme playing for?

KURTIS: Mike Seeburg (ph) of Baltimore, Md.

SAGAL: All right. First question - many of us watched the show, of course, during its many years in syndication, long after its 1963 debut. But those lucky enough to see it when it first aired in prime time were lucky enough to see what on "The Flintstones" - A, the first known TV nip slip, long since edited out...

POUNDSTONE: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...When Fred leaned over to pick up a rock; B, Fred and Barney taking cigarette breaks or, C, a prehistoric minute with a scientist offering real facts about the Stone Age?

HOMME: I would say B. In that time, it was probably a ciggie break by those two.

SAGAL: It was. It was, in fact, a commercial...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...For Winston cigarettes...

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: ...Who sponsored the show. And in those days, what they would do is the commercials were part of the show. The characters in the show would start smoking Winstons. Hey. Isn't it great, Barney? We're smoking Winston cigarettes thousands of years before they would be invented. All right, second question, Joshua - "The Flintstones" live-action movie, you may remember, came out in 1994 with John Goodman as Fred Flintstone. The movie is...

HOMME: It was amazing.

SAGAL: ...Historic in an unusual way. What is it - A, it featured Elizabeth Taylor in her last on-screen role; B, watching the Flintstones' silent engineless car inspired a young Elon Musk to found Tesla some years later...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Or, C, it features the first accurate depiction of bipedal dinosaur locomotion, which is more avian than mammalian?

(LAUGHTER)

HOMME: I'm going to have to go with Elizabeth Taylor making that mistake in being in this final...

SAGAL: You're right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It was, in fact, Elizabeth Taylor's last on-screen role.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Elizabeth Taylor, who you know was once the biggest movie star in the whole world, ended her career playing Fred Flintstone's mother-in-law.

POUNDSTONE: Well, you know what? She has the date she did it tattooed on her breast.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: So that Flintstones movie, that live-action movie, took many, many years to get made. It went through many, many versions of story and script. In an earlier version of the script, the movie was going to be very different in what way? Was it A, it was going to be a loose adaptation of "The Grapes Of Wrath" in which Fred and Barney lose their jobs and travel through landscapes of want and hunger...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...B, it was supposed to have a twist ending in which it would be revealed that it takes place thousands of years in the future after an apocalypse or, C, it was supposed to be an opera, climaxing with the aria "Nessun Wilma"?

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

HOMME: Or, D, it was supposed to be good.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Hey. Do you know that movie made more than a hundred million dollars?

KONDABOLU: Sheesh.

HOMME: In a row?

SAGAL: Yes.

(LAUGHTER)

HOMME: Well, I'm just going to go out on a limb and say B, it was supposed to be from the future, although it's just a guess, really.

SAGAL: No, it was actually the first one. It was going to be Fred and Barney as Okies in an adaptation of "The Grapes Of Wrath."

DICKINSON: No.

POUNDSTONE: No.

KONDABOLU: Wow.

SAGAL: Yeah. They decided that was going to be a downer, and they threw it out and wrote something else. But it's true.

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

KONDABOLU: I kind of want them to make that now.

SAGAL: I do.

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Joshua Homme do in our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he won with two out of three. Congratulations.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Joshua. Well done.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: The new Queens of the Stone Age album, "Villains," is out now. Joshua Homme, thank you so much for joining us on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME!

HOMME: Thank you, Peter.

SAGAL: Thank you. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

View this story on npr.org

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