Panel Round Two
NPR
Saturday, February 14, 2015
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More questions for the panel: D-Day for V-Day, the Love Nest Before Time and No, We Can't.
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Tom Bodett, Roxanne Roberts and PJ O'Rourke. And here again is your host at the Dr. Phillips Center for the Performing Arts in Orlando, Fla., Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thank you everybody. In just a minute, Bill will introduce us to the little-known eighth dwarf, Rhymey, in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
PJ, this weekend, a group of men in Japan are marching in protest against a, quote, "blood-soaked conspiracy driven by oppressive capitalists." What are they fighting?
O'ROURKE: Gee, what wouldn't they be fighting? I mean...
SAGAL: Well, they're very upset and it is specific.
O'ROURKE: I need a clue.
SAGAL: It is specific to this weekend.
O'ROURKE: Oh, it's specific - oh, Valentine's Day?
SAGAL: Yes indeed. Valentine's Day.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
O'ROURKE: I didn't even know they had - I thought.
SAGAL: They do, they do.
TOM BODETT: Where is the blood-soaked part?
SAGAL: Well, let me explain. The group is known as Kakuhido. That translates - and I am being serious - to the revolutionary alliance of men that women find unattractive.
(LAUGHTER)
O'ROURKE: Yeah.
SAGAL: That'll make it easy for you to pick them out as they march through the streets.
O'ROURKE: Yeah.
SAGAL: And while you or I might say Valentine's Day is cheesy or, you know, it's invented by the card companies, they'll say, quote, "the blood-soaked conspiracy of Valentine's Day driven by the oppressive chocolate capitalists has arrived once again," unquote.
BODETT: There's a reason why women don't find these guys attractive.
SAGAL: You think?
(LAUGHTER)
ROXANNE ROBERTS: I think it's unfair to blame chocolate.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Wait a minute. Chocolate remains blameless.
(APPLAUSE)
ROBERTS: Doesn't seem fair.
O'ROURKE: You know what really troubles me about this is I'm going to have to join that group because I just realized what day of the month it was and I'm...
ROBERTS: You missed it.
O'ROURKE: My wife will be getting her Valentine's Day present from the airport gift shop.
(LAUGHTER)
O'ROURKE: I sure hope she likes crocodile ashtrays.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Tom, paleontologists in Israel believe they have found the cave where humans and Neanderthals first did what?
O'ROURKE: It's illegal in Alabama, I'll tell you that.
BODETT: Humans and Neanderthals - this is in Israel?
SAGAL: Well, they found it in Israel.
BODETT: Oh, negotiated the boundary in Jerusalem.
SAGAL: No, no.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This happened a long time ago prior to modern political issues.
BODETT: Oh, well, mated?
SAGAL: Yes, exactly right. Got it on.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
BODETT: They found the interspecies love nest in Israel.
SAGAL: They did, 55,000 years after what was surely a magical night, scientists believe they found the exact place where humans and Neanderthals first hooked up. Researchers...
ROBERTS: Wait.
BODETT: This is when early man was just like - they were slumming. They were totally just like out, you now? They're like sailors in port, you know. Come on. Come on.
O'ROURKE: I am so betting beer was involved.
SAGAL: This may have been prior to beer.
ROBERTS: Do we know the Neanderthal was the boy?
SAGAL: No, I don't think we know that.
ROBERTS: OK.
SAGAL: If you think about it, you realize that the human must have been the boy because a boy will sleep with anything.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Well it could have been...
SAGAL: God you have the most beautiful brow ridge.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Roxanne, we all know the slogan yes we can. It was such a huge part of President Obama's 2008 campaign. Well thanks to revelations in the new book by his former campaign adviser David Axelrod, we learned that one key member of Obama's team hated that slogan. Who was it?
ROBERTS: The president?
SAGAL: Yes indeed. At that time, the candidate - it was Barack Obama, yes indeed.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The slogan, yes we can, struck then candidate Obama as being too corny. He was for something more measured like it is likely we might be able to, given the current restrictions imposed in our unilateral actions vis a vis political realities at any given moment...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Obama '08.
O'ROURKE: Now is that...
ROBERTS: That's harder to fit on a poster.
O'ROURKE: That's a heck of a yard sign.
SAGAL: It is. The button was the size of a manhole cover. Another revelation in the book - back in 2008 when Obama said he was opposed to gay marriage, he was flat out lying. He was just saying that to stay electable. There was always something fishy about Obama's story anyway, the way he said he decided to change his mind about gay marriage when he was in Iraq and his helicopter was hit by an RPG.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Guy doesn't forget a thing like that.
BODETT: No, he doesn't. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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