Panel Round Two
NPR
Saturday, November 21, 2015
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More questions for the panel...Foreign Policy is not Brain Surgery; Hungry Man Dinners; Fl-uber
Transcript
BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with P.J. O'Rourke, Alonzo Bodden and Faith Salie. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. In just a minute...
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: ...Bill knocks out Ronda Rhymesey (ph) in the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT - that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Faith, please listen to Bill.
KURTIS: Nobody has been able to sit down with him and have him get one iota of intelligent information about the Middle East.
SAGAL: That was somebody complaining about Dr. Ben Carson's inability to learn anything at all from his foreign policy adviser. Who is that person?
FAITH SALIE: His foreign policy adviser?
SAGAL: Yes, that is right.
SALIE: Oh.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: That is the person who said...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...That Ben Carson cannot manage to learn anything from his foreign policy advisor.
SALIE: What a genius.
SAGAL: You are.
ALONZO BODDEN: You know, once this campaign is over, I don't think he's going to be getting any more brain surgery gigs.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yeah, probably not.
BODDEN: I think that ship has sailed.
SAGAL: Yeah.
O'ROURKE: I love Dr. Carson. I think he's a great guy, you know? But he should...
SALIE: Do you want him to be president?
O'ROURKE: ...Get back to work. He should get back to work. He's a brain surgeon, you know what I mean? He should get back to work. He could, like, operate on Donald Trump's brain and take out the - you know, there's a leaking silicone gel implant that is threatening Republicans everywhere.
BODDEN: I think if Carson keeps going...
SAGAL: Yeah.
BODDEN: ...Keeps talking, we're going to have some daytime lawyer TV commercials - did Ben Carson work on your brain?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: P.J., a new study from Cornell University reveals that men do what when they are dining with women?
O'ROURKE: We - I know at least the answer isn't listen.
(LAUGHTER)
O'ROURKE: It really isn't listen.
SAGAL: You're on safe ground.
O'ROURKE: Yeah, right. We will take food off their plate.
SAGAL: We will take food off their plate 'cause in general, we do what?
O'ROURKE: Eat more.
SAGAL: Exactly.
O'ROURKE: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Men eat more food when they're with women.
O'ROURKE: I get it now, OK.
SAGAL: This is crazy. Men, according to the study, eat a shocking 92 percent more food when they dine with women than when we dine with men. That's almost twice as much - that 92 percent - that leaves their dates 8 percent of the thing they ordered.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The researchers conclude that men do this to show off, so a corollary finding is that 92 percent of the time, men have no idea what will actually impress a woman.
(LAUGHTER)
O'ROURKE: We do it 'cause that way, it's easier to pretend you're listening - or you don't have to make eye contact, you know?
SALIE: Do you think - I mean, Alonzo, you're a single man...
BODDEN: I'm a single guy, and I'll tell you...
SALIE: Do you do this on a date?
BODDEN: I don't do it often on a date. But sometimes, women will just give you their food. They're like, here, try this, eat some of that.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BODDEN: And you end up - you didn't ask for it.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: But now, you know, it's like, here, try this. And the best one is, oh, this is bad. Try it.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Faith, this week, Uber introduced the new addition to their growing empire of services. For just $10, they will come to your specified location and do what?
SALIE: They come to and they - they come to you and they do it to you?
SAGAL: Yes, they do.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: Is it pleasurable for both parties?
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: Is it only pleasurable for you, receiving the service?
SAGAL: I don't think it's really pleasurable for anybody. It's...
SALIE: Oh.
SAGAL: It's something that people do especially as we get into this following season.
SALIE: Do they take your temperature rectally?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No.
SALIE: Is it something medical?
SAGAL: It is.
SALIE: Oh, do they give you a flu shot?
SAGAL: They do. For 10 bucks, Uber Flu is the service. First you had Uber, plain Uber.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SALIE: It's called Fluber.
SAGAL: You wish.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: First there's Uber, then UberX, then UberBLACK. There's Uber Tuber, which brings you potatoes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: There's Uber Gruber, which just brings the villain form "Die Hard."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: There's Uber Pooper, which bring a Japanese toilet.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This is called UberHEALTH, they bring you a flu shot - 10 bucks. Sure, we've all climbed into UberX and accidentally sat on a hypodermic leader.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But this is different. This is better. For just $10, Uber will bring a nurse right to your door and administer a flu shot. And if they're using the same mapping software their drivers do, you have only a 50 percent chance of taking the needle in the eye.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: Yeah, you really have to wonder how bad a nurse is someone when that's their gig.
SAGAL: Yeah, I was in - actually, people want to give you flu shots. I was in a Target the other day doing some Target shopping. And I buy my targets at Target, that's why they're called Target. And I'm walking down the aisle, and some guy comes up behind me and says, excuse me, sir, would you like a flu shot? I'm like, get out of here.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You don't even work here. It was really weird.
(LAUGHTER)
BODDEN: Well, Uber had dropped him off.
SAGAL: Apparently.
SALIE: He wanted that five-star rating.
BODDEN: Pick up a few bucks on the side.
SAGAL: Yeah. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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