Panel Round Two
NPR
Saturday, October 10, 2015
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More questions for the panel: Bud Ice; Pizza Saucy.
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, HOST:
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with P.J. O'Rourke, Paula Poundstone and Amy Dickinson. And here, again, is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill. Thanks, everybody. In just a minute, Bill imitates conservative radio host Rush Limerick...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...In our Listener Limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panelists, some more questions for you from the week's news. P.J., a new safety audit from the U.S. government finds that one group's partying and alcohol use are just out of control. They're recommending harsh, new restrictions on whom?
O'ROURKE: Now, Peter, I was out of the country when they did their report (laughter) so...
AMY DICKINSON: So it's not you then.
O'ROURKE: No, it's not me, I swear.
SAGAL: Well, I don't know, you've been everywhere. I don't know if you've been here, though. It's pretty remote.
O'ROURKE: Way up in the Arctic.
SAGAL: Other way.
O'ROURKE: Oh, it's the Arctic - Antarctic researchers
SAGAL: The researchers in Antarctica have been partying too hard.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
DICKINSON: No kidding.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: I thought for sure it was the Secret Service.
DICKINSON: I did, too.
SAGAL: No.
DICKINSON: That was my first guess.
O'ROURKE: That was the last report.
SAGAL: Well, it is dangerous to party all night in Antarctica, where the night can be six months long. A National Science Foundation audit found rampant drinking, fights and indecent exposure at American research stations there.
O'ROURKE: Oh, that hurts just thinking about that.
SAGAL: I know, yeah.
DICKINSON: So meaning you only wear one parka?
SAGAL: Yeah.
O'ROURKE: (Laughter) Right.
SAGAL: No, this really - I mean, a few years ago, the Air Force had to evacuate about two guys who were injured after a drunken brawl there on Christmas. This really - it's a different picture of Antarctica than I had. It's kind - it's like a really boring episode of "Girls Gone Wild." Like, take it off. Now take that off. Now take that off. All right, now take that off. It's like, show me your vest.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Amy, you remember pizza rat. He was an Internet sensation a couple weeks ago.
DICKINSON: Do I remember pizza rat.
O'ROURKE: I don't remember pizza rat.
DICKINSON: Oh, my God.
SAGAL: Pizza rat was - you see, he was this little rat carrying a whole slice of pizza down the stairs in the New York subway. Big internet sensation.
DICKINSON: He was a symbol of American can-do spirit.
SAGAL: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, there were pizza rat hashtags. There were pizza rat coverage on CNN...
O'ROURKE: Went right by me.
SAGAL: And now, pizza rat has even inspired what, Amy?
DICKINSON: Oh, I'm going to say either a Broadway musical or a Halloween costume.
SAGAL: A Halloween costume.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A sexy pizza rat costume.
DICKINSON: Sexy pizza rat?
SAGAL: If something happens in the world, wherever it is, whatever it is, there will be an unnecessary sexy costume to go with it.
DICKINSON: Wait a minute, a sexy pizza rat?
SAGAL: Yes, it's a regular rat costume, modeled by a very sexy model, with pizza slices attached to the pause. It's a great icebreaker at costume parties. So, are you some sort of mouse that makes pizza? No, you say, I'm that rat that was trying to drag someone's dirty, uneaten pizza slice down the stairs to the urine-soaked subway platform, but sexy.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: You know, when I - we live right near a costume shop and I go in there fairly frequently, and I got to say...
SAGAL: Why do you go into a costume shop fairly frequently?
POUNDSTONE: I have a life that you don't know about, Peter.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right, all right, you go into the costume shop.
POUNDSTONE: You go into the shop and you look at the, you know, the bags with the costumes in them, right? And they have the model on the cover. And you figure the model on the cover is wearing it sort of the best you can wear it?
SAGAL: Yeah.
POUNDSTONE: They never look remotely sexy.
SAGAL: There's so many, though. Like, for example, if you like condiments, there's the sexy Sriracha sauce costume.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: Your kids - do your kids like "Despicable Me?" Then they'll be deeply disturbed when you dress as sexy minion.
DICKINSON: Oh, come on.
SAGAL: There's something called sexy fantasy football.
DICKINSON: Wait a minute, that's a costume?
O'ROURKE: No.
SAGAL: It's a costume.
O'ROURKE: No, there's not.
SAGAL: There really is.
O'ROURKE: No, there's not.
POUNDSTONE: It's just a loser with a beard.
SAGAL: And this is perhaps our favorite - very popular in the Midwest - sexy corn.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: OK, all right, well that's the one that is...
DICKINSON: Well, corn can be sexy.
POUNDSTONE: That is a little bit titillating 'cause...
DICKINSON: Just thinking about it.
POUNDSTONE: No, because of the silk and the way you peel it, yeah.
O'ROURKE: Freudian and all that.
POUNDSTONE: The way you shuck it, you know? You know, so often I've been in a bar and a guy has come up to me and said, I would like to shuck you.
SAGAL: Are you sure that's what he said?
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, you know, it's definitely shuck. And I find it irresistible. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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