Bluff The Listener
NPR
Saturday, October 10, 2015
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Our panelists tell three stories about a hot new tourist destination, only one of which is true.
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, HOST:
From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Amy Dickinson, P.J. O'Rourke and Paula Poundstone. And here, again, is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. Right now, it is time for the WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our games on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.
LUCY BOYD: Hi (laughter) this is Lucy calling from Indialantic, Fla.
SAGAL: Hi, Lucy from where in Florida?
BOYD: Indialantic. It is...
O'ROURKE: They just pulled that name out of a hat, didn't they?
BOYD: No, it's weird. It's between the Indian River and the Atlantic Ocean, so they just kind of smushed it together and made Indialantic.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: So wait, they named the town after the two things it was in between?
SAGAL: Yeah.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, that explains Waffle Denny's. It's in between the Waffle House and the Denny's.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, Lucy, it is nice to have you with us. And you are going to play the game where you have to tell truth from fiction. Bill...
BOYD: Great.
SAGAL: ...What is Lucy's topic?
KURTIS: Daddy, are we there yet?
SAGAL: We are all tired of those normal vacation destinations - Disney World, Mount Rushmore, the California waterless water slides. This week, we heard about a hot new tourist destination. It's a little unusual. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Guess the real one that you can visit and you will win our prize, Carl Kasell's voice for you. Are you ready to play?
BOYD: I am so ready. I'm so excited.
SAGAL: All right. Be calm. Be cool. Be collected.
BOYD: OK.
SAGAL: All right, your first story is from Amy Dickinson.
AMY DICKINSON: During Pope Francis's six-day visit to the United States, millions of Americans turned out to see him preach, teach and also walk, wave, sit, eat, blow his now and wipe his mouth with a napkin. Carly and Joe Chofee (ph) are proprietors of a little pit stop in Philly called La Familia. They were thrilled when il papa was peckish and stopped in for one of their famous cheesesteaks. After his departure, they looked at the cloth napkin he'd used and noticed a certain very recognizable face, smeared in cheese, embedded in the napkin. And so the shroud of cheesesteak was born. Word spread quickly and now they have to open their shop early just to accommodate the crowds eager to see the cheese whiz-stained relic. Now, others are coming forward with papal artifacts. There's the asparagus spear of destiny, the bell pepper trinity, the Starbucks cup chalice and a certain Kleenex discarded by the pope and now thought to bear the marks of the stigmata. The Chofees have rented a small warehouse in order to display whatever relics people decide to bring to them. They're calling their little museum Pope Floats.
SAGAL: Pope Floats, a pop-up museum with relics of the pope's visit, including the cheese shroud of Pope Francis? Your next story of a place to go comes from P.J. O'Rourke.
O'ROURKE: What is it with painfully stupid museums? I mean, there is a roller skating museum in Nebraska, a hammer museum near Juneau and a dentistry museum in Baltimore. And now there's one that hurts even worse - Ralph Nader's The American Museum of Tort Law in Winsted, Conn.
(LAUGHTER)
O'ROURKE: I mean, America needs a museum of tort law like France needs a museum of military retreat.
(LAUGHTER)
O'ROURKE: On display is a 1963 Corvair - unsafe at any speed except this one, it's bolted down - plus fascinating interactive displays about asbestos, flaming Ford Pintos, overheated McDonald's coffee and car seats without seatbelts. There's even a kiddy corner full of toys called Toys That Kill. I'm going to the American Museum of Tort Law today and trip and fall on the doorstep.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The American Museum of Tort Law, brainchild of Ralph Nader's in Connecticut. Your last story of a vacation destination you probably hadn't thought of yet is from Paula Poundstone.
POUNDSTONE: For a fifth straight year in a row, Donovan's Friendly Turkey Farm in Concord, Mass., is sold out for Thanksgiving dinner. People come from all over the country to celebrate Thanksgiving with family, old friends, new friends and turkeys at Donovan's. On Thanksgiving, guests dine at a sumptuous table of traditional foods, sweet potatoes, green salads, squash, corn, beans, wine and pumpkin pie. But here, the turkey sits at the head of the table, enjoying their own plate of food. They serve stuffing, too, says return guest Ed Spotswood (ph), but a turkey won't eat stuffing just on principle.
At Donovan's, Thanksgiving revelers dine with a turkey that they have sponsored throughout the year. The farm sends pictures and updates on the guest turkey's progress. Our family has gathered at Donovan's for the last four years, explains visitor Ed Spotswood, pointing to a photo album of his turkey sponsee, Gwynn (ph). Turkeys are a remarkable petting experience. The area beneath their wing and body is cavernous. If drug smugglers knew about turkeys, they'd breed them like pit bulls.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Our turkey, Gwynn, loves wine. She gets drunk every year, which is good because my Uncle Bill doesn't stand out.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right then, here are your choices.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Let's say you want to take a trip. You don't want to go to the usual places. Can you go to, from Amy Dickinson, a new pop-up museum of Pope Francis relics from his recent visit centered around the great stained cheese napkin, from P.J. O'Rourke, the tort museum in Connecticut founded by consumer advocate Ralph Nader, or from Paula Poundstone, a place where you can have a turkey dinner with a turkey? That's what we mean by turkey dinner. Which of these is the real vacation spot?
BOYD: Oh, my gosh. I have no idea. I think I'm going to have to go with the Museum of Tort Law.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: OK, your choice is P.J.'s story of the Museum of Tort Law. We're so pleased to be able to tell you that we spoke to the person who founded this place.
RALPH NADER: The tort museum will enlighten and inform people about their legal rights. People love it. You cannot believe - why shouldn't they love it? It relates to their daily experience.
SAGAL: That was Ralph Nader, consumer advocate and author of "Return To Sender: Unanswered Letters To The President, 2001-2015" and the host of the Ralph Nader Radio Hour. Congratulations, Lucy, you got it right. P.J. was telling the truth.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: You earned a point for P.J. just for being indignant. And you've won our prize. Carl Kasell will record whatever you want for putting in your voice mail. Thank you so much for playing.
BOYD: Oh, thank you so much.
O'ROURKE: Thank you, Lucy.
BOYD: This is awesome.
SAGAL: Bye-bye, Lucy.
BOYD: Bye. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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