Panel Round Two
NPR
Saturday, August 15, 2015
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More questions for the panel: Bald Faced Lie, No Children No Cry.
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ in Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Charlie Pierce, Paula Poundstone and Roy Blount Jr. Here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: And in just a minute, Bill's got rhymes coming out of his eyes, out of his wherever...
ROY BLOUNT JR.: Whoa, whoa...
SAGAL: In our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Paula, Scott Walker...
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Yeah.
SAGAL: Is running for president.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah.
SAGAL: But he is facing his first scandal. Observers on the campaign trail are accusing him of lying about what?
POUNDSTONE: Oh, I have no idea, union-busting. I don't know.
SAGAL: No, no, I'll give you a hint. He says no, no, no, this Rogaine in my bag? It's for my dog.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, that he's going bald?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: He is lying about the fact that he's going bald, a sensitive issue with me.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Whenever Scott Walker leaned forward - and he didn't have to lean forward much - during the debate, everybody noticed he has this - you know, behind his nice, apparently good-looking hair from the front, he has this giant bald spot on the top of his head. It looked like a fish-belly white yarmulke. But he says it's not a bald spot. He says - this is what he says - his hair stopped growing up there after he banged his head on a door while making repairs to his house. Yes. It was a male-pattern-baldness-shaped door.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Right. And he chose the manliest lie possible. My hair's not receding. I'm part bald eagle.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: There's not a lot of science in what he said then.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No.
CHARLIE PIERCE: No, dear...
(APPLAUSE)
POUNDSTONE: Because...
PIERCE: Why, yes, Dr. Poundstone, I agree.
POUNDSTONE: Well, because if you could not - if you could stop hair growth, wouldn't men just bunk themselves in the chin every morning?
(LAUGHTER)
PIERCE: It's a hell of a lot - I mean, it's a hell of lot cheaper to bang your head on a door then, like, pay 40 bucks for a haircut. I know I would.
SAGAL: Honey, I have to shave. Have you seen my hammer?
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: I think it's...
BLOUNT: You missed a spot, hon' - whap (ph).
SAGAL: Roy.
BLOUNT: Yeah.
SAGAL: If you've ever met a new parent...
BLOUNT: Yeah.
SAGAL: They always talk about how having a child is the best thing to ever happen to him? Well, according to a new study, most likely those people are what?
BLOUNT: Lying through their...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Yes, thank you.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A new study in a reputable journal of demographics says that having a child is the worst thing that can happen to you - worse than divorce, worse than getting fired. So some...
BLOUNT: Wow.
SAGAL: German scientists were trying to investigate why there's a low birth rate there. And so what they did was they polled some people who did not have children. And then they waited a few years, and they polled them again. Many of them had had children, and that they found that the people who had had children reported much more misery than anybody else.
BLOUNT: Wow.
SAGAL: According to their, quote, "happiness scale," having a kid was worse than being divorced or even having your spouse die.
BLOUNT: Oh.
SAGAL: I guess that makes sense because sure, both of those are tragedies. But at least it means you won't have a kid.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOUNT: Well, you might - just to get the other side of the story - ask people what it's like to have parents.
SAGAL: That's true.
(LAUGHTER)
PIERCE: It's the worst. It's the best.
(APPLAUSE)
POUNDSTONE: A friend of mine bought me for my birthday a Vitamix, you know, for...
SAGAL: A blender thing?
POUNDSTONE: To make the smoothie things.
SAGAL: Yeah.
POUNDSTONE: And, you know, I opened up the box, and it had the plastic bag with the warranty and the instructions and all of that in there. And right up top on the plastic bag of the first thing you see is this brochure that says, welcome to the Vitamix family. And I thought well, that's not what I was hoping for.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Apparently, I have to drive little Cindy Vitamix to soccer every Tuesday now.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You didn't? You just wanted a smoothie. You didn't want to be adopted.
POUNDSTONE: Exactly. I had no need for a family...
PIERCE: You might be in great-uncle Vitamix's will.
SAGAL: That's true.
POUNDSTONE: Well, no. More likely, I'll have to take great-uncle Vitamix to his medical appointment. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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