Round Two
NPR
Saturday, February 21, 2015
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Paula Poundstone's Selfie Schtick; The iBaby; Harry Potterstein
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT …DON’T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I’m manic pixie dream girl Bill Kurtis. And here’s your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thanks everybody. Thank you so much. So good to have you here. You know, it’s winter in Chicago, where we all live. It’s a special time. We huddle inside with our families and friends, unable to go outside for weeks at a time. And eventually, we start gazing at our family and friends and looking around for an ax.
SAGAL: (Laughter). Which is why we thought it would be wiser to take a week off and get out of town. So this week, we’re bringing back some of our favorite celebrity interviews of the past year.
SAGAL: We start with Florence Henderson, Mrs. Brady to a whole generation, but as we found out when we spoke to her, so much, much more.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)
SAGAL: So we were reading your biography, and it's extraordinarily impressive. Prior to you getting the role of Carol Brady, you were, among other things, the first female guest host for Johnny Carson?
FLORENCE HENDERSON: Yes.
AMY DICKINSON: Whoa.
SAGAL: Yeah, I go back a long way, Peter.
SAGAL: I can imagine. So you were a theater actress. In fact, you were an award-winning actress here to Chicago, I was proud to read. And then they came to you - presumably sometime in the mid-60s. The creator of "Gilligan's Island" had an idea for a show about a blended family - mother with daughters, father with sons. What was your reaction when you first heard about this show?
SAGAL: Well, it was in 1969, and I thought, wow, you know, I really didn't want to do a TV series. You know, I had my own act, and I was performing in Vegas and doing all of these exciting things. And my manager said, well, just go down and meet them. I thought it was great, and it was fun, but I thought, well I guess it didn't sell. And then I get the lead in the movie "Song Of Norway." And I'm over in Norway filming, and I get a message that "The Brady Bunch" sold. And so they started the show without me. They did six episodes without me, and then I filled in when I got back to the states.
SAGAL: And "The Brady Bunch," as I don't need to tell anybody - well, certainly my age, became like the signal to...
SAGAL: How old are you?
SAGAL: I am old enough to have watched it in the original series. How's that?
SAGAL: You sound like a baby.
SAGAL: Oh, thank you.
(LAUGHTER)
BRIAN BABYLON: I was always curious - they never get into the back story about how Carol and Mike met, they just go straight up in this relationship. Was it like a meet up, 'cause it was pre-Internet? This was pre-Internet.
SAGAL: Well, they never talked much about our spouses, you know. And people often ask me what happened to my first husband? And I say I killed him.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really? You were like the stepmother and nobody knew.
SAGAL: Well, that's right. If you don't behave, look out.
SAGAL: Well, you were raising your own family at the same time you were doing the show, right?
SAGAL: Right. I had four children. And my youngest when we started was like, oh gosh, two or a little less. And sometimes my kids would say to me, you know, how come you don't scream at those kids on television like you do us?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And what did you say?
SAGAL: I said because they're not my real kids, and you are, and I want you to turn out to be wonderful human beings - and they have. I have four of the most incredible children. And I have five grandchildren.
SAGAL: And do the grandchildren watch "The Brady Bunch"?
SAGAL: You know what, I don't sort of encourage it. I mean, they know I'm on television, but I'm just kind of grandma Flo, you know?
SAGAL: I understand.
SAGAL: That's a cool - that's a rap name.
SAGAL: Grandma Flo. Got the flow.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's a hip-hop name.
SAGAL: You might look into that for your next career. You've had a lot.
SAGAL: Yeah, and I'm still hot.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Oh.
SAGAL: I'll tell you you are.
SAGAL: Here we go.
SAGAL: She opened the door. She opened the door.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I was - I was looking for a segue into this topic. You handed it to me.
SAGAL: Oh, great. I could read your mind.
SAGAL: I know you could. One of the great myths of my childhood - I should say my adolescence - you know, when you get to, like, junior high school at my age, somebody said did you know that Mrs. Brady went on a date with Greg Brady - i.e. you the actress, Florence Henderson - the rumor was dated Barry Williams I think his name was, who played Greg Brady?
SAGAL: Yes, that's right.
SAGAL: Is it true?
SAGAL: It was the most innocent, sweetest date. And he couldn't even drive without a licensed driver. His brother drove him to my hotel, and then he drove and I, you know, I was the licensed driver.
SAGAL: Wait a minute, stop. How old was he?
SAGAL: He was about 15.
SAGAL: Wait a minute.
SAGAL: Now wait, Peter.
SAGAL: This is even weirder than it seemed in junior high school. Go on.
SAGAL: No, it wasn't weird at all. But listen...
SAGAL: No, I am sorry.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Oh, Peter, you're so melodramatic.
SAGAL: I...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I think you're a little jealous maybe.
SAGAL: A little bit, especially because Greg Brady - rather Barry Williams wrote a book called "Growing Up Brady."
SAGAL: Right.
SAGAL: And in this book, he described you as, quote - and I'm going to go on for a while, so be patient - quote, "a totally white-hot babe. I mean, just once put the apron and the six kids out of your mind, and take a good long look at her. Almost from day one, my feelings towards Florence were more carnal than filial," unquote.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Carnal - it says carnal?
SAGAL: Carnal. So did he say that? You're driving him around 'cause you have a license and he doesn't, and he looks across at you and says, you know, Florence, my feelings for you are more carnal than filial.
SAGAL: No.(Laughter.) He wrote that book much later.
ROY BLOUNT JR.: Can I ask, what was your Vegas act like and what did you wear?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You guys just sound like a horny bunch of old guys.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You got that right.
SAGAL: I am guessing that you run into that a lot.
SAGAL: Oh, gosh, I have a website, and I get apropos of what you're talking about. So many emails saying, you know, I'm in my 40s, and I've been in love with you. You know, everybody thought Marsha was this and that, but you are the one. If you ever are in Vancouver, call me. I'd love to take you to dinner. And it's very sweet.
SAGAL: I'm sure it is.
SAGAL: And I answer them.
SAGAL: Do you? What do you say?
SAGAL: Nope.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Florence Henderson, we've asked you here to play game we're calling...
SAGAL: They Said You Were Mad At The Academy. Mad, I Tell You.
SAGAL: Now a few weeks ago, the Annals Of Improbable Research - that's a journal - handed out their annual Ig Nobel Awards for achievements in real - if ridiculous - science. We're going to ask you three questions about the far horizons of science.
SAGAL: Oh, my gosh.
SAGAL: Answer two of these questions correctly, you'll win a prize for one of our listeners - Carl Kasell's voice on their voicemail. Bill, who is the immortal Florence Henderson playing for?
SAGAL: Sharon Gavin of Atlanta, Ga.
SAGAL: All right. Are you ready to do this?
SAGAL: Oh, my gosh, I'll feel terrible if I don't win. Can I send her something?
SAGAL: You may.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or perhaps her husband might be more appreciative. We don't know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Whatever works - but let's play the game.
SAGAL: OK.
SAGAL: OK, here we go. Here's your first question. The Ig Nobel Prize in physics this year went to a team in Japan that investigated what? Did they investigate A, what would happen to an average building if Godzilla were really to step on it? B, the actual amount of friction between a person's shoe, a banana peel and the floor; or C, how big Angelina Jolie's lips could become before they explode?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You know what, I'm going to go with A.
SAGAL: You're going to go with A, what would happen to an average building if Godzilla were to stomp on it?
SAGAL: Yeah.
SAGAL: OK, no. Actually was B, the banana peel.
SAGAL: Oh.
SAGAL: Are you serious?
SAGAL: I'm very serious and so were they. According to their exacting measurements, we can now say for sure that a banana peel on a linoleum floor is slippery.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You have two more chances, so you can do this.
SAGAL: OK.
SAGAL: And we always know Mrs. Brady always had a happy ending, so here we go. A special prize was given in Arctic Science and that was given to an international team of scientists who explored what question? A, if ice cubes taken from the polar ice cap can improve a cocktail; B, if putting up big fans on the poles to blow on the Arctic ice can help reverse global warming; or C, how reindeer behave when they are approached by humans dressed as polar bears.
SAGAL: Oh, jeez. What was A again?
SAGAL: A was if ice cubes taken from the ancient polar ice cap will actually make your cocktail taste better.
SAGAL: I think I have to go with that.
SAGAL: That's like a Dean Martin kind of question.
SAGAL: It is, absolutely.
SAGAL: It is a Dean Martin kind of question.
SAGAL: Can I weigh in? It doesn't...
SAGAL: Yeah, help me out here.
SAGAL: I don't know. I think that sounds wasteful. What was the second one?
SAGAL: Blowing a fan is going to help global warming.
SAGAL: Yeah, that sounds ridiculous.
SAGAL: That's kind of crazy. And the other one was the...
SAGAL: The last one was how reindeer behave when they're approached by humans wearing polar bear suits.
SAGAL: I'm liking that one. I'm liking that one.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Oh. I think I have to stay with A.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Really? I want to point out you may not know this, but Amy is an advice columnist.
SAGAL: Oh, Amy. My gosh, yeah, I like three. I like number three.
SAGAL: There we go. Yes, you're right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It turns out - and this is again according to this very scientific study - that reindeer are kind of freaked out when people dress as polar bears and approach them. All right, Florence, get this one right, you win.
The Public Health Prize went to a team that tried to determine if doing what was detrimental to your mental health? Is it A, trying to get your cable hooked up; B, playing the computer game Candy Crush; or C, owning a cat?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Wow.
SAGAL: I own a cat.
SAGAL: It's bad for your mental health.
SAGAL: Yes.
SAGAL: And Roy just said he owns a cat, which to me is sort of proof right there.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's true.
SAGAL: Well, all right, let's go with number three.
SAGAL: Yes, that's right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: So they published a number of studies that involve various things like parasites that cats sometimes have, but the short answer is yes, cats make you crazy.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Florence Henderson do in our quiz?
SAGAL: Well, Florence and Amy got two out of three.
SAGAL: Thank you.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Florence Henderson was, is and always will be America's favorite TV mom. Florence Henderson, what fun to have you. Thank you so much...
SAGAL: Thank you Peter.
SAGAL: ...For being with us.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Take care Florence.
SAGAL: Bye.
SAGAL: When we come back, Harry Potter himself and Paula Poundstone gets upset about some modern magic. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME from NPR.
KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. And here is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Peter Sagal.
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: So while we are thawing out somewhere, we are revisiting our favorite moments from the past few months. That should give us time to regain the feeling in our hands.
KURTIS: Paula Poundstone comes on our show to answer questions, but sometimes she has questions of her own, as in this show from January of this year.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)
SAGAL: Amy, a new study from Ohio State University determines that there is a pretty clear way to identify someone who might be a psychopath. They're people who do what a lot?
DICKINSON: Go on rampages, obviously.
SAGAL: That is one way.
(LAUGHTER)
PAULA POUNDSTONE: I Think they're looking for a preemptive sign.
SAGAL: Yeah. Yeah.
DICKINSON: Oh.
SAGAL: These guys, they like to post a lot of these to psychobook.
DICKINSON: Oh, posting weird messages on Facebook.
SAGAL: Not weird messages. I'll give you a hint - you've done this, I'm sure.
DICKINSON: Sharing...
SAGAL: We've all done this. But these people tend to do it a lot.
DICKINSON: Commenting.
SAGAL: No.
DICKINSON: Sharing.
SAGAL: People even use sticks to do this a lot.
DICKINSON: Sticks on Facebook.
SAGAL: Yes. They're the new specialized sticks. You buy these things, and then you can - it makes it easier to do this.
DICKINSON: Oh, selfies?
SAGAL: Yes. People who do a lot of selfies might be psychopaths.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
POUNDSTONE: Wait. How do you use...
BABYLON: Oh, a selfie stick.
SAGAL: Yeah, the selfie stick.
POUNDSTONE: Where have I been? What the hell is a selfie stick?
(LAUGHTER)
DICKINSON: Oh, Paula.
POUNDSTONE: I feel like I come here, and I'm introduced to another world.
SAGAL: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: A selfie stick, dear Paula, is an expandable stick - you know, like an expanding rod, that in the end, is a little mount for your smartphone so you can hold your smartphone out to take a selfie of you with a better view than just the length of your arm.
DICKINSON: Not everyone has your very long arms, Paula. Some of us need...
BABYLON: Some of us have raptor arms.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: I think - well, no I think if there's any charm at all in a selfie, and I think we all have enough photos of ourselves now, but if there's any charm at all in a selfie, it is that angle that your arm gives it. I feel that a stick - I don't like the idea of a selfie stick at all.
DICKINSON: Well, then you're obviously not a psychopath. That's the thing.
POUNDSTONE: I feel good about that.
SAGAL: Well, this is the idea. This is the idea. The next time you're scrolling through OkCupid.com or one of those other dating sites, you can automatically rule out any guy who's profile is filled with selfies. Chances are, he's a psychopath.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Psychologists at Ohio State say that selfies, a lot of them can show narcissism, impulsiveness, self-objectification, lack of empathy and vanity - qualities shared only by psychopaths, children between the ages of 7 and 18 and all the single men in your town.
(LAUGHTER)
DICKINSON: Also, something they left off that list, the inability to find anyone else to take a picture of you.
SAGAL: That's also true.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And sometimes, even though we are not part of NPR News, we get to break important stories.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED BROADCAST)
SAGAL: Faith, our phones, as we all know, can sync up to our car, the lights in our home, our other phones. But now, thanks to a new device, we can sync them to what?
FAITH SALIE: Can I have a hint please?
SAGAL: Well, unfortunately they will do a lot of things, but they still won't change the diaper.
SALIE: Wait, they sync up to our baby?
SAGAL: Yes they do - or they can, Faith.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SALIE: How? I need to do this immediately.
ADAM FELBER: Your baby's not synced? Oh.
SAGAL: Oh, God. Oh, you have one of the old babies. You need to...
MO ROCCA: You need the baby six.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You totally need to upgrade your baby. So the new device is called the Pacif-i. Get it? Pacif dash I. And it's a Bluetooth enabled pacifier that syncs your baby to an app. So you put the pacifier in the baby and then you can monitor with your iPhone the baby's sleep, temperature, and location from up to 50 meters away, or just out of smell range. And if you lose your baby, you can use the Find My Baby app.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Or as it's called, the I'm a Terrible Parent app. And this...
SALIE: So this assumes your baby takes a pacifier.
SAGAL: Yeah.
SALIE: Which many babies don't.
ROCCA: What do they do?
SALIE: I have - they take a nipple, Mo.
ROCCA: Oh.
SALIE: So I need and i-Nipple.
ROCCA: Yeah, you need an i-Nipple.
SAGAL: Or a Nipple-i - nippli?
FELBER: You're not really going to be looking for your baby.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: That's a good point.
FELBER: Only one company is offering a plan for this. It's AT&Teet.
(LAUGHTER)
SALIE: Or Teet-Mobile.
FELBER: Teet-Mobile. That's true.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Maz, just in time for Hanukkah, Harry Potter author J.K. Rowling gave us a present. She revealed what?
MAZ JOBRANI: Another Harry Potter book coming.
SAGAL: Well, she did in fact there will be some more Harry Potter stories on her website. But that's not what we're talking about. She told the fans via tweet something very interesting about Hogwarts.
JOBRANI: Hogwarts is actually a Hebrew school.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And I say this for all Jews everywhere, oh, I wish. But no, you're close though. You're close. You're very close. It was a Hanukkah-themed gift, if you will.
POUNDSTONE: It's a Hanukkah-themed gift.
SAGAL: To her readers, specifically her Jewish readers.
JOBRANI: To her Jewish readers, Hanukkah-themed - Hogwarts.
SAGAL: She told us something about Hogwarts.
JOBRANI: There were a lot of dreidels there.
SAGAL: Well, if there were dreidels there, it would mean that at Hogwarts, there was a...
JOBRANI: Jewish kid.
SAGAL: Yes, there was - she has revealed that at Hogwarts, there was at least one Jewish wizard.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: There you go. This is true.
POUNDSTONE: He was the guy with the yarmulke, wasn't he?
SAGAL: That's how you can tell. They picked his house by sitting under the sorting yarmulke.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: J.K. Rowling revealed there was a Jewish kid at Hogwarts named Anthony Goldstein in Ravenclaw, naturally.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It makes sense with all the adventures and mischief that Harry and his friends are off to, they had to copy their homework from somebody.
(LAUGHTER)
JOBRANI: Was he actually in the stories or is she just made it up at the last minute?
SAGAL: She - I'm not quite sure. She says that he was there in the first book. And so he might be mentioned. But she has said things about the characters prior that aren't clear in the book. For example, she has told us that Dumbledore was gay.
POUNDSTONE: Dumbledore was gay.
SAGAL: You didn't know that?
POUNDSTONE: I didn't know that.
SAGAL: Are you shocked?
POUNDSTONE: A little.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: I am.
SAGAL: Lifelong bachelor. Very neat.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: I don't think those are the only traits.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: I don't think that's even the main trait.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The reason there's only one Jew at Hogwarts is no Jewish mother in her right mind would risk her kid going there. Are you kidding? I heard a girl got paralyzed by a basilisk there. Over my dead body you're going to this place.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Yeah. But they never took that holiday.
SAGAL: No.
POUNDSTONE: I love the Jewish holidays.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: I mean, left to us atheists, there'd be nothing.
SAGAL: That's true.
POUNDSTONE: We'd just be working all year long.
(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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