Panel Round Two
NPR
Saturday, January 31, 2015
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More questions for the panel: Chin-osuction; Not So Forever Young; Snowbuddy Loves Me.
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR in WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Amy Dickinson, Tom Bodett and Peter Grosz. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you Bill. In just a minute, Bill gives the week's game ball to rhyming back Marshawn Limerick. It doesn't even make any sense. It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT, that's 1-888-924-8924. Right now panel, some more questions for you form the week's news. Peter?
PETER GROSZ: Yes.
SAGAL: There's a new miracle drug ATX-101. It's currently under scientific review by U.S. and European drug administrations. And if it is approved, it will be the world's first approved cure for what?
GROSZ: May I have a hint?
SAGAL: You may. It's great if you get self-conscious during Skype conversations, you know, during video conversations.
GROSZ: It's great for that?
SAGAL: Yeah.
GROSZ: Like...
SAGAL: You know how a lot of people when they're being photographed kind of tuck their heads down a little bit to hide something? They'll no longer have to do this.
GROSZ: It cures baldness?
SAGAL: Not baldness.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's what...
GROSZ: Too much hair? Oh, nose hair.
SAGAL: No, that's when you...
GROSZ: I'm just following your movements. Up, down, no, left. No. In back? No left ear. No right ear.
SAGAL: No, I said you take your head down.
GROSZ: You tilt your head down so you hide...
SAGAL: You hide?
GROSZ: Jowls?
SAGAL: Yes, which are also known as your double chin.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
GROSZ: Double chin. I heard a bell. Apparently you got it right.
SAGAL: I did.
AMY DICKINSON: Wait a minute. There's a drug that's supposed to cure that?
GROSZ: Yeah, it's called exercise. But isn't that...
SAGAL: No.
GROSZ: ...Isn't that loose skin?
SAGAL: Well, no. I mean, we're not talking about - we're talking about the real full on double chin.
DICKINSON: Like a goiter?
SAGAL: Not like a goiter.
GROSZ: Like a turkey neck?
SAGAL: Not like a - like a double chin.
DICKINSON: Well, how can you cure that with a drug?
SAGAL: Well, the idea is that this...
GROSZ: Let him explain it. I will.
DICKINSON: It's crazy.
TOM BODETT: Of all the fat on an overweight person to target, why that? How about the fat around their heart and lungs?
SAGAL: This is a great mystery, all right. But according to the articles about this, we found this drug when injected directly into your double chin, it will melt the fat away in your chin and your chin will shrink.
DICKINSON: Is this one of those drugs that was developed for one thing and ended up being good at something else?
BODETT: I had a media trainer tell me once that Preparation H would take care of the bags under my eyes and it does. It gives you really crappy outlook.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: I've been using that joke for 20 years but never here.
SAGAL: Tom, Bob Dylan has done it all - Grammys, an Oscar, influenced a generation of songwriters. Well, he has a new achievement. He has finally made the cover of what?
BODETT: I would say Cosmopolitan.
SAGAL: No, although that would be sexy.
BODETT: That would be.
SAGAL: Fifty things you can do to a strange withered troll in bed.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: The last thing you want to hear after sleeping with Bob Dyla - I'm not really Bob Dylan.
(LAUGHTER)
BODETT: I guess I need a hint.
SAGAL: Well, he was so much older then - he's even older than that now.
BODETT: AARP.
SAGAL: Yes. He is on the cover of the AARP Magazine.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: If you've seen the cover, I know you're thinking, awe, that's too bad. But no, Bob Dylan is still alive.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's amazing when you think how long Bob Dylan has been around. There are subscribers to AARP who are like, hey, grandpa's favorite singer's on the cover.
(LAUGHTER)
DICKINSON: But I think of him as being like kind of elusive or shy or something - like why is he doing that?
SAGAL: Well, he's also embracing his senior citizen status. He's updating his songs like lay lady lay, lay across my adjustable hospital bed.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: He's written enough songs that we could do this for a very long time.
DICKINSON: Not to mention...
BODETT: Knocking on Heaven's door, he didn't have change at all.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Tangled up in my seatbelt.
GROSZ: Is that something that happens to old people?
SAGAL: Yeah, like I can't - how does this work?
GROSZ: Oh man.
SAGAL: Because you remember, his real name is Bob Zimmerman. He's an old Jewish man now.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: She said I'll give you some nice Gefilte fish.
(LAUGHTER)
DICKINSON: I don't know.
GROSZ: It's not a song pun, it's just something you get from coming in.
SAGAL: I know. Peter, every time a blizzard is forecast, people freak out. They raid grocery stores, stock up on bottled water, and last weekend in Manhattan at least, in New York, some people even do what as they prepare for blizzard?
GROSZ: People...
SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. Man seeking woman for long walks on the beach inside my tiny, cramped New York studio.
GROSZ: They wanted to make sure they had sexual relations?
SAGAL: Pretty much. They wanted blizzard buddies.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
DICKINSON: Oh my God.
SAGAL: As soon as Winter Storm Juno was forecast, hundreds of men post personal ads. They promised things like hot chocolate, cuddling, lots of Netflix. But this is probably not a good idea for the women because the men you're going to find doing this - the human equivalent of that last sad loaf of bread.
DICKINSON: On the shelf.
SAGAL: On the shelf.
GROSZ: That during the hoarding, nobody wanted to buy.
SAGAL: Exactly.
GROSZ: It sounds like something that like, if you were a young girl moving to the city, your mother would be like, now if somebody puts out an ad that they want a blizzard buddy, don't go.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: That's not a real thing. You're gullible, Marsha. You're going to fall for this.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "MY BUDDY")
UNKNOWN SINGER: (Singing) My buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, wherever I go, he goes. My buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy, my buddy and me. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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