Bluff The Listener
NPR
Saturday, November 15, 2014
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Our panelists tell three stories about the music business and the bad shape it's in, only one of which is true.
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis and we are playing this week with Roxanne Roberts, Alonzo Bodden and Maz Jobrani. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you so much Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Right now it's time for the WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME Bluff The Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.
BLANE SKILES: Hi, Peter. This is Blane calling from Denton, Texas.
SAGAL: Blane from Denton, Texas?
SKILES: That's right.
SAGAL: Now where is Denton?
SKILES: Is about 30 minutes north of Dallas.
SAGAL: And what do you do there?
SKILES: I'm a student at the University of North Texas.
SAGAL: The University of North Texas.
SKILES: Yes.
SAGAL: Now I don't know the University of North Texas. What is their mascot?
SKILES: Not many people do. Not many people do. It's really well-known for our music program.
SAGAL: Really?
SKILES: Yeah, I'm not a musician though, so...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So a lot of good that does you.
SKILES: Yeah, yeah.
SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show Blane. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what's Blane's topic?
KURTIS: Now That's What I Call Music.
SAGAL: It's hard being a musician these days. Nobody pays for music anymore. And if you're U2, nobody even wants it for free.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This week we saw a sign that the music business might be in even worse shape than we thought. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Guess which one of them, of course, is telling the truth, and you'll win our prize -scorekeeper emeritus Carl Kasell's voice on your voicemail. Are you ready to go?
SKILES: Yes I am.
SAGAL: All right. First let's hear from Maz Jobrani.
MAZ JOBRANI: Just when you thought the music industry might be back with Taylor Swift's new album selling almost 2 million copies, word is out that Usher will be releasing his new single at the bottom of a box of Honey Nut Cheerios. The place previously reserved for stickers and plastic rings is now where artists have to go to force people to pay for their music. The problem with this marketing plan is that now grown-ups are going to be seen by their kids digging through a box of Cheerios just to get to the treat at the bottom. How embarrassing when your 6-year-old walks in on you holding a fistful of Honey Nut Cheerios in one hand and an Usher single in the other? You might've found the song, but you've lost your dignity.
(LAUGHTER)
JOBRANI: Ushers' new single is called "Clueless" and is part of your complete breakfast.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Usher distributing his single as a prize in a box of cereal - Honey Nut Cheerios to be specific. Your next story of trouble in the biz comes from Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: The producers of Britney Spears Las Vegas show at Planet Hollywood Casino had a great idea for a viral video. Britney would dress up in her Catholic schoolgirl outfit for Halloween, then walk around the Vegas Strip and surprise delighted fans. Great, huh? Except nobody recognized the former princess of pop. One woman excitedly thought she was Carrie Underwood. Another guessed she was Paris Hilton. One drunk guy dressed kind of like Justin Timberlake told her, wow you look just like Britney Spears. The 32-year-old singer coyly answered I get that a lot, but then he added, but you're a lot older.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Britney Spears takes a stroll around Las Vegas and does not get what she bargained or hoped for. Your last story about the last days of the record industry comes from Alonzo Bodden.
ALONZO BODDEN: Everything old is new again. Sony records is getting out of the music business. Well, not out of the music business but out of the new music business. Harold Grimes, a music executive at Sony explained, we've all seen a drop in the music business, however there's no drop in love of the classics. That's where we're headed. From now on, we'll only be releasing remakes and samples of classic hits. The grittiness and street cred that Snoop brings to Sinatra's "Fly Me To The Moon" has to be heard. I mean, it's like we're flying while drinking gin and juice.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. Here are your three stories.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: One of them is true. Was it from Maz Jobrani, that Usher has to release his new single in the bottom of a cereal box, from Roxanne Roberts - Britney Spears takes a stroll to meet her fans in Vegas and nobody recognizes her, or from Alonzo Bodden - it's that Sony, instead of putting out new music, is going to get their artists just to redo the old music. Which of these is a real story from the music business of today?
SKILES: Oh, now I wish I was a musician. I'm going to go with Britney Spears.
SAGAL: You're going to go with Britney Spears going for a walk in Las Vegas and discovering that maybe she should just have gotten married overnight again to have a good time in Vegas?
SKILES: Exactly. Or maybe she should have shaved her head again. Maybe people would have recognized her then.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, all right. Your choice is Roxanne's story of Britney Spears finding out she doesn't have what she used to have. Well, we spoke to someone who actually covered this story for Billboard Magazine.
(SOUNDBITE OF ARCHIVED RECORDING)
COLIN STUTZ: Kids whose Honey Nut Cheerios were purchased at Walmart will find a brand-new single by the singer Usher in their breakfast cereal.
SAGAL: That was Colin Stutz, he's a contributing writer for Billboard. And what he was doing, of course, was talking about the fact that Usher will be releasing the new single, not only in boxes of Honey Nut Cheerios, but only Honey Nut Cheerios bought at Walmart. So you didn't win, but you did earn a point for Roxanne. And let me tell you something, Roxanne loves winning this game more than life herself.
SKILES: Well, you're welcome Roxanne.
SAGAL: Yes. It's really true.
ROBERTS: I'm sorry.
SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing.
SKILES: Thank you Peter.
SAGAL: Bye-bye.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "OMG")
USHER: (Singing) Oh my gosh. Oh, oh, oh my, oh, oh, oh my, my, my, my, my, my - oh my gosh. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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