Panel Round Two
NPR
Saturday, September 20, 2014
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More questions for the panel: Oh, Canada; The Stench of Politics; Hoppy Graduation
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis and we're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Paula Poundstone, and Maz Jobrani. And here again is your host at the Paramount Theater in Seattle, Washington, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill dumps you in a bucket of rhyme in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Paula, the Canadian Air Force, which is something that exists...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...It's faced with a shortfall in funding. They've had to go where to get replacement parts for their planes?
PAULA POUNDSTONE: They had to go - can you give me a hint? I do know this.
SAGAL: Well, they were able to get all they needed at the gift shop near the exit.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, they had to go to a museum of like historic airplanes.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: They had to go to a museum to get their parts.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: But don't get excited enemies of Canada, the Flying Mounties will still be guarding the skies thanks to some quick thinking in the failure of a museum to adequately guard its exhibits.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The Canadian air fleet had not been upgraded since 2002. Basically all they had left was one old C-130 and a big plaid hot air balloon.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: So to repair their fleet, they had to go to a museum in Ontario and strip the parts from display planes. They just went for navigational equipment and stuff, but it was a waste because they had a whole museum. They should have outfitted a fighter plane with like pterodactyl wings. That would have terrified their enemies.
(LAUGHTER)
MAZ JOBRANI: Does that mean Canada's broke? They can't afford to buy parts?
SAGAL: Well, they're not adequately funding there air force apparently.
JOBRANI: Do they need the air force?
SAGAL: That's a good question.
JOBRANI: Really?
SAGAL: Yeah. Who are they going to fight?
JOBRANI: I don't - Seattle? I mean, that's closest. That's the closest - who are they going to fight?
SAGAL: Maybe...
LUKE BURBANK: I'll tell you what the - if you want to know, being a Northwesterner, the big beef between the folks in Washington State and Canada revolves around a Costco.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: A Costco at the border.
POUNDSTONE: Is that true?
BURBANK: This is absolutely true.
POUNDSTONE: So this is why Canada is beefing up their planes?
BURBANK: Yeah. That's exactly what's behind this.
JOBRANI: The battle of Costco.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, some day...
JOBRANI: It was the battle of Costco. There were many carts involved - big, large carts.
POUNDSTONE: Some day kids will ask their parents, you know, what aisle did you serve in?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Maz, a new study shows that members of a political party can identify like-minded potential mates. How?
JOBRANI: By asking them if they're in the same party.
SAGAL: Well, that's what you'd expect.
JOBRANI: Yeah.
SAGAL: But this was more surprising.
JOBRANI: They can find...
SAGAL: They don't have to ask them. They don't even have to look at them.
JOBRANI: They can smell them.
SAGAL: Exactly right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: They can identify people of political agreement by smell. It turns out Republicans and Democrats actually smell different. And when we seek a mate, we prefer the smell of people who vote like we do.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's why sometimes when you take your Democrat out for a walk, he'll roll around in the grass where a bird died.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Now when people switch parties, do you think their scent changes then?
SAGAL: Well, it's hard to say. I mean, it's not so much party affiliation as political belief - liberal or conservative. Call it that. This is an amazing study. They took test subjects, right, and they had them clean themselves with unscented soap before the test because of...
POUNDSTONE: But that was honor system, right?
SAGAL: Well, yeah, presumably. But, you know, the idea was that they needed to remove like their environmental scent because if they didn't do that, then you'd know a Democrat by the scent of kale or an unwashed yoga mat. You could recognize a Republican by the scent of freedom.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: And eagle feathers.
SAGAL: So, for example, in order to get their scent as pure as possible, subjects were told not to smoke, drink, have sex or use deodorant, avoiding all those was probably much easier for the Democrats involved.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: They were just using Tom's of Maine, which is the same as not using deodorant.
SAGAL: Right.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Maz, Paul Smith's College in upstate New York is fulfilling wishes of students throughout, well, history. This for the first time, Paul Smith's College is offering a degree in what?
JOBRANI: Drinking.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Well, technically beer is the degree. Paul Smith's College is offering a degree in beer, so after four years of hard work, you'll be able to proudly stagger across the stage and vomit on your diploma.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Sure, there may be more useful degrees in this job market, but have you ever got to the end of a long day and craved a nice frosty mug of computer science? It's a degree in craft beer, you know, fermentation, making beer. Great for those moments when people are saying, hey, beer snob. You're not quite pretentious enough. Could you maybe tell me about your advanced degree?
(LAUGHTER)
JOBRANI: Four years of studying beer?
SAGAL: Yeah.
JOBRANI: That's a lot of studying and a lot of drinking.
SAGAL: Exactly.
JOBRANI: How are you going to remember things? You'll be drunk. Oh, what did I learn? I forget. I'm drunk.
SAGAL: I can't get out of bed, I studied so hard last night.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But you have to study 'cause what does it say about you if you fail beer?
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Yeah. That's a parent's nightmare.
BURBANK: That's a big thing. Seattle, like many cities that have a really vibrant food and drink culture, there are so many places now that have like 300 beers on tap.
SAGAL: Yeah.
BURBANK: And, I mean, I like beer OK, but I've never had like 250 beers and thought is this all there is?
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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