Panel Round Two
NPR
Saturday, September 13, 2014
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More questions for the panel: Uberette, Island of Rivals, Google Squat.
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Moshe Kasher, Roxanne Roberts and Brian Babylon. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Mr. Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In just a minute, Bill reaches the eighth level of rhymentology in our listener limerick challenge.
(LAUGHTER)
BRIAN BABYLON: That was funny, I'm sorry.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, though some more questions for you from the week's news. Moshe, New York City offers an array of cab services - yellow taxis, livery cars, green cars, kidnappers. Now there's a new one. Just for who?
MOSHE KASHER: Jewish standup comedians, I hope?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That would be convenient for some people.
KASHER: How about a hint?
SAGAL: Well, the cabs are pink.
KASHER: Just for...
BABYLON: Mary Kay?
KASHER: Am I supposed...
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: I feel like I'm going to get trouble. This is NPR, but just for homosexuals?
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: See what I mean? I was led down this terrible path.
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: Oh, I feel really terrible.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: OK, go more basic.
KASHER: Just for girls.
SAGAL: Just for women, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It's called SheRides. It's an Uber-like service. Women place an order for a taxi, a female taxi driver wearing a pink scarf picks her up. So far the service has been a hit with women. They say they feel safer and more comfortable with a cab driven by a woman. It's also been a hit with men disguised as women who take SheRides to escape the smell of He Rides.
(LAUGHTER)
BABYLON: So the thing is with those ridesharing services, the talkiness. You know, cabdrivers aren't really talky, but sometimes those, like, the Ubers and the Lyft, they get to talking too much.
SAGAL: Well, you know, they need you to rate them. That's why.
BABYLON: Well no, get me where I'm going...
KASHER: Right.
BABYLON: ...And I'll rate you.
KASHER: Hand me an iPhone phone charger, nod at me and never speak again, five stars.
BABYLON: Five stars, yeah.
SAGAL: Yup. Brian, we all loved - you all love "Survivor," you know, the reality TV show. Strangers on a desert island doing what they could to survive. Well, a new reality show tweaks that model somewhat and we're not sure anyone will survive. They're stranding who together on a desert island?
BABYLON: "I Want To Marry Harry?" No, I'm just kidding.
SAGAL: What?
BABYLON: No, I was obsessed with that "I Want To Marry Harry" show.
ROBERTS: That was so - that was so terrible.
BABYLON: It was hilarious.
KASHER: You were obsessed with - isn't Brian the same guy that attacked openly the Royal baby?
BABYLON: Yeah, I know, I know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's the show - just so you know what we're talking about - that was the show where they convinced some women that...
ROBERTS: Those stupid women.
SAGAL: ...They were going to marry Prince Harry from England.
BABYLON: It was so funny, I couldn't help myself.
KASHER: I just love the idea of you at home, like, I can't stand this white privilege. This era is over. This is an abomination - oh, "I Want To Marry Harry."
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No, this is not that show, Brian. This is a different show.
BABYLON: OK.
SAGAL: So this show - what they're going to do - and this is going to be a real show - they're going to take who and strand them on a desert island together?
BABYLON: Give me a hint.
SAGAL: Well, they thought about sending somebody from the Green Party too, but they knew he'd just get eaten.
BABYLON: Is it Republicans and Democrats?
SAGAL: It is. It's a Republican and a Democratic Congressman, in fact.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Imagine the competitive fire of "American Ninja Warrior" combined with the grossness of "Jersey Shore" and the boringness of C-SPAN.
BABYLON: That sounds horrible.
SAGAL: "Rival Survival's" what its called. Republican Jeff Flake of Arizona and Democrat Martin Heinrich of New Mexico are going to be put on a desert island and they have to survive for a week together on this desert island. The idea is, like, these two guys who are political enemies will get past their differences and learn to survive. So yeah, they're going to starve to death.
BABYLON: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
BABYLON: But Jeff - see, the thing is...
SAGAL: Yeah.
BABYLON: Jeff Flake's ruggedly handsome looks is going to take him over the edge. Once he gets all tanned up out there, surviving.
SAGAL: Well, wait a minute. How do good looks...
KASHER: That's what it takes.
SAGAL: ...And he is a very good-looking man...
ROBERTS: Because the fish are just going to come up and go oh, hey Jeff. Oh, he's so cute.
SAGAL: Really? You think his good looks are going to help him through somehow?
BABYLON: Watch. Watch.
ROBERTS: Always, always does.
SAGAL: Roxanne.
ROBERTS: Yes sir.
SAGAL: The headquarters of Google - the Googleplex...
ROBERTS: Yes.
BABYLON: Do they call it that?
SAGAL: They do. Famously has all kinds of amenities for their employees. They get free food, free massages, free Google searches - no charge for that. Well, we've recently learned some Google employees take full advantage of their headquarters how?
ROBERTS: They live there.
SAGAL: They do.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: They secretly live there. The big tech companies are just like the apartments of the tech guys who work there. There are kitchens, there are showers and there are no women. So...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Not true I know. So some googlers are saving a few bucks by just giving up their own apartments and living on campus. They use the showers in the cafeterias in the building and at night they go to sleep in their cars in the parking lot, just like super-rich hobos.
BABYLON: Really?
SAGAL: That's what they do. Sometimes, they even specifically go out and buy a car just to live in.
KASHER: Did you know that actually 100 percent of the employees of AOL now live in their cars?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That's true.
BABYLON: One hundred percent.
KASHER: Yeah.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: This totally makes sense. I mean, it's beautiful. They've got everything you might need. You save money on rent. You're close to work and it's nice to live in the one place where people think wearing Google Glass makes you look cool.
ROBERTS: I'm thinking they never take a girl home, right?
KASHER: They don't need to take a girl home. They just turn their Google Glass on there she is.
SAGAL: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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