Bluff The Listener
NPR
Saturday, September 13, 2014
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Our panelists tell three stories about a new parenting technique, one of which is true.
Transcript
BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis playing this week with Brian Babylon, Roxanne Roberts and Moshe Kasher. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you so much. Right now it's time for the WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME Bluff The Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME.
RACHEL SLACK: Hi, this is Rachel from Ware, Massachusetts.
SAGAL: Ware, Massachusetts?
SLACK: Yes.
SAGAL: If you don't mind me asking, where is Ware? I've been all over Massachusetts, but I haven't been to Ware.
SLACK: It's about halfway between Springfield and Worcester on the pike.
SAGAL: I see.
KURTIS: Where?
SAGAL: Yeah. There you go.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Well, it's nice to have you with us, Rachel. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Rachel's topic?
KURTIS: Call me tiger mom.
SAGAL: Between Doctor Spock and helicopter parenting and going out for cigarettes and never coming back, there are all kind of choices in how you might raise your child. And this week we read about yet another new parenting technique from an unusual source. Guess the true story, you'll win Carl Kasell's voice on your home answering machine or voicemail - whatever you may have. Are you ready to play?
SLACK: Yes, I'm very excited.
SAGAL: All right. Let's hear first from Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Appalled by all the twenty-somethings living in their parents' basements, a new parenting movement called no childhood childhood has sprung up in London. Founded two years ago by British economist James Ringle (ph), the operating principle is to teach kids real-life skills they won't get in school. So no following your passion or majoring in English. Starting at age 5, these kids pay for room, board and taxes with money earned from household chores. They get performance reviews, bonuses for good grades and occasionally get laid off to increase parental profits.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Then they have to apply for a new job in the family. Oh, and at age 12, each kid gets a credit card issued by the family which has a 12 percent interest rate.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: Quote, "you can raise a child who can," quote, "Shelly and play Minecraft," Ringle told the Times, or you can have a kid who can survive in the 21st century. Your choice.
SAGAL: The no childhood childhood method from Britain. Your next story of what's new in parenting comes from Brian Babylon.
BRIAN BABYLON: Last month, Parenting Magazine ran a column titled "Why My Son Poops In A Sandbox."
(LAUGHTER)
BABYLON: It was the first time most of us had ever heard of cat parenting - a method practiced primarily by crazy cat people who somehow procreate and then had children.
(LAUGHTER)
BABYLON: The idea is simple. Instead of a two-hour nap, your kid sleeps for 23 hours a day.
(LAUGHTER)
BABYLON: Instead of potty-training, your kid goes into a box in the utility closet. Quote, "when I found out I was having a litter of babies," said the column's author, Kristin Fresca (ph), "I thought, how can I ensure he grows up to be as independent and self-sufficient as my cats? Easy - treat him like a cat. Her son laps his milk from a bowl and plays for hours by himself with the top of a soda bottle.
(LAUGHTER)
BABYLON: Plus, she gets more done around the house because her son can't be bothered with her, just like her cats. But it's not all catnip and laser pointers, says Kristin. One day at the park, some mom started complaining when my youngest bandit started pottying in the sandbox. They wanted me to punish him, but I just gave him a treat and said, good kitty.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Cat parenting - the latest rage.
MOSHE KASHER: The latest rage.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Make your kids as independent and contemptuous of you as your cat. Your last story of childrearing comes from Moshe Kasher.
KASHER: If you want advice on conservative, old-fashioned parenting, you need look no other than the most logical choice - Rolling Stones guitarist and drug-addled maniac Keith Richards.
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: While the world is asking itself how Keith Richards is still alive, Daily Telegraph columnist Jake Wallis Simons says Keith is the model of a great father. Theodora Richards - Keith's daughter - says life with her dad included some fairly puritanical rules to ensure that her childhood stayed socially mild. No lipstick until she was 16, no singing at the table and also, he named her Theodora.
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: Once, when Keith found her, quote, "getting too hot and horny with a boyfriend," Richards told the man, cut it out or I'll cut it off.
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: Apparently, Keith is the only person allowed to hook up with teenaged girls at the Richards household.
(LAUGHTER)
KASHER: No one knows if the young man took Richards up on his offer of amateur circumcision. Our guess is that he went home frustrated that night. But you know what they say, you can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find Keith Richards will threaten to castrate you.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: All right. Which of these - let's put it this way - which of these might be a source of wisdom for how to raise your child? Is it the severe businessmen of London who believe that children should not be indulged with childhood? That's from Roxanne. From Brian - your cat, who can inspire you to raise your child as if it were a kitten? Or from Moshe - Keith Richards, whose own parenting of his daughter, Theodora, is a model for the rest of us. Which of these is a real story of a parenting technique in the news?
SLACK: Well, while the first two sound pretty incredible, I have to go with the third one only because my dad actually really wanted to name me Theodora, but my mom put a stop to that pretty quickly.
SAGAL: Really?
SLACK: He wanted to name me Theodora Edwina (ph). So, yeah...
SAGAL: Does your father hate you?
(LAUGHTER)
SLACK: Well, the jury's still out on that one.
SAGAL: Well, we spoke to someone who is actually intimately familiar with this story.
JAKE WALLIS SIMONS: Keith Richards is a perfect role model for every father because he's come out telling her, don't do what I did.
SLACK: All right.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That was journalist Jake Wallis Simons who wrote about the Keith Richards parenting method for the Telegraph newspaper in Britain. Congratulations, Rachel nay Theodora. You got it right.
SLACK: Hooray.
SAGAL: Hooray. You earned a point for Moshe, and you've won our prize. Carl Kasell will record the greeting in your voicemail.
(APPLAUSE)
SLACK: Thank you so much.
SAGAL: Thank you so much for playing with us today.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "HAPPY")
THE ROLLING STONES: (Singing) Always took candy from strangers. Didn't wanna get me no trade. Never want to be like papa working for the boss every night and day. I need a love to keep me happy. I need a love, baby won't you keep me happy. Baby won't you keep me... Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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