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Panel Round Two

Friday, May 16, 2014

Copyright 2018 NPR. To see more, visit http://www.npr.org/.

More questions for the panel: Alto Wiedersehen, Cock-A-Doodle-Don't, Thumby Tuck.


CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT ...DON'T TELL ME! the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Mo Rocca and Roxanne Roberts. And here, again, is your host at the Warner Theatre in Washington, D.C., Peter Sagal.



Thank you, Carl. In just a minute, Carl eats his rhyme-a beans in our Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some questions for you from the week's news. Roxanne, we learned this week that the most popular song in China is Kenny G's 1989 smooth jazz hit "Going Home." When a Chinese person plays Kenny G's 1989 smooth jazz hit "Going Home" for you, you know that that Chinese person wants you to do what?



ROBERTS: Um - introduce you to their parents.

SAGAL: That's a very specific meaning.


SAGAL: No, I'll give you a hint. It's right there in the title.

ROBERTS: They want to go home.

SAGAL: They don't want to go home.

ROBERTS: They want you to go home.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

ROBERTS: Oh, right.


ROBERTS: Oh, oh.

SAGAL: They want you to leave. All over China, businesses everywhere play Kenny G's song "Going Home" to indicate the day is done, and they would like you to leave now.


SAGAL: It may seem strange, but if you wanted people to go away, what musician would you play?


MO ROCCA: So if you're on a date with a Chinese person, and she puts on "Going Home," you know this isn't happening.

SAGAL: Right exactly.


SAGAL: Paula, inspectors from the CDC and other agencies have determined that a recent outbreak of salmonella all over the country may have been caused by what?

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, I - can you give me a hint?

SAGAL: Come here, Foghorn Leghorn, and give me some sugar.

POUNDSTONE: (Laughter)


ROCCA: Oh, no.


ROCCA: Oh, ugh.

POUNDSTONE: My Aunt Irene?


POUNDSTONE: My great Aunt Irene. She used to chew snuff. And she'd hold it right there, and she'd say, Paula, come here and give me some sugar.


SAGAL: And what did she want you to do?

POUNDSTONE: Hold her spit can.



SAGAL: When your aunt said, come and give me some sugar, what was she asking for?

POUNDSTONE: Kissing chickens?

SAGAL: Kissing chickens.


SAGAL: Paula.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, yes. Yes.



ROCCA: Chickens kissing each other?



SAGAL: People...

POUNDSTONE: People kissing chickens.

SAGAL: ...Kissing. It is OK - if you're one of these new urban chicken owners - it's OK to read your chicken a bedtime story, maybe give it a back rub. But the CDC says quit taking your chicken down to tongue town because...


SAGAL: ...Chicken kissing - do chickens even have tongues?

ROCCA: They have waddles. Yeah.

POUNDSTONE: They have lips.

ROCCA: Yeah.


ROBERTS: They have beaks!


SAGAL: Chicken kissing may be the cause of a recent salmonella outbreak in 23 states. One doctors said, quote, "Don't kiss the bird. You can show your affection in other ways."


SAGAL: Which makes us all start thinking about things that are even grosser than kissing a chicken.

POUNDSTONE: I just - just hand-holding, I think, is enough.

SAGAL: Yeah.


SAGAL: Paula, you know, a wedding these days is an enormous production.


SAGAL: Well now, it seems, there's yet another step brides are going to be going through. Many brides are now getting what prior to their wedding?


SAGAL: No, that's old. Been there.


SAGAL: One hint that maybe you should do this, as a bride, is that when your husband-to-be, as an engagement present, gives you engagement mittens.

POUNDSTONE: Gives you engagement mittens?



POUNDSTONE: Um, cook hot things?


POUNDSTONE: Mo is making a snowball gesture.

ROBERTS: I think he's pitching.

SAGAL: Mo is making a snowball. Why are you making a snowball gesture?

ROCCA: Because you use mittens to make snowballs.


POUNDSTONE: Yes, so...

SAGAL: That's very true.

POUNDSTONE: ...Before you get married, you must pelt your intended with snowballs. Is that correct, Mo?


ROCCA: I just want to win this game.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, I can see that.


SAGAL: No, that's not it.

POUNDSTONE: So you're purposefully steering me towards the wrong hemisphere.

SAGAL: Right.


POUNDSTONE: Damn you, Columbus. They give you - so you have to - what, have your hands done?

SAGAL: Yes. You have to go and get what they're calling a hand lift.


POUNDSTONE: What the heck's a hand lift?

SAGAL: Well, this is it. Before you go and take a little picture for Instagram of your engagement ring, make sure you take a look at the hand that's wearing it, ladies. Is it bony and thin? Does your ring hang off it like a toe tag off a cadaver?


SAGAL: Well, time for a hand lift. A plastic surgeon in Manhattan, of course...


SAGAL: ...Reports a 40 percent increase in women coming in to getting injections of something called Juvederm that plumps up and smoothes out the hands so they're nice and plump, and your ring looks good on it. A cheaper alternative, contract a case of gout.


SAGAL: Or just hit your hand with a hammer, and wait 20 minutes.


ROCCA: And remember, it's called a hand lift.


ROCCA: (Laughter) A hand lift. Don't confuse it with the other hand service.


SAGAL: And so what it is, it's - just to be clear ladies, you're going to get a nose job and a hand lift.


ROCCA: Just making it clear.

POUNDSTONE: What - what - what is the matter with people?


SAGAL: I knew you'd have something to say about this.

POUNDSTONE: It's just so stupid. It's just so us. I - one time I was on an airplane and the guy beside me - normally, I sleep on the airplane, but there was a guy beside me reading a book called "Soft Skin Augmentation." And I was afraid to doze off.

(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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